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Tuesday, October 31
It's still Tuesday!
Just before midnight, I present to you strip #10
posted by: Zung @ 11:46 PM
Monday, October 30
Happy Holloween Ladies!
Costumes... The good and the bad...
I think I've been a ghost several times... A pirate at least once. (My dad made me a wooden cutlass. I got splinters.)
I was 14 when I went out dressed as Indiana Jones. It was an awesome costume. I had the fake stubble... The leather Jacket... The whip.
I got told I was too old to Trick or Treat.
: (
I've had the cheap kids masks... Skeleton face... An early one was Bozo the clown. (Thanks Mom). A cowboy was an early favorite.
In my adult years, when I've dressed up I've done things like Vampire, Jester, Vampire, the Crow, Vampire... : )
This year, I can push my costume impulses on the boy. So in the gothic tradition I bought him a Skeleton costume last year (on clearance in the size we expected him in now. Ha! Take that! It was on clearance too!)
He's a cute skeleton. Not nearly as boney as you'd expect.
So, now all I have to work out is what I'm going to be dressed as.
Maybe a cowboy.
posted by: Skeeve @ 10:37 PM
Friday, October 27
Zero's Friday Five
All Hallow's Eve fast approaches. This weekend will be filled with many parties attended by girls dressed like various types of whores and guys who are "too cool" to wear costumes oogling them... and spiked punch. We must not forget the spiked punch. Of course, this is all just a warm up to Tuesday night's annual free candy event peppered with much doorbell ringing, egg throwing, toilet paper and shaving cream. In a way, it's a lot like having a shave and a big dump, then creating a mess in the kitchen when you go to make breakfast, and finally just giving up and grabbing a Snickers for the car ride to work. Well... It's sorta like that. Only there's kids in costumes, asking you for free stuff. I think if you've got the balls to ask me for a hand out, I should be able to see who you are. But, that's just me. Anywho, this week's Five will be about my favorite Halloween "tricks"... screw the treats, I always just ended up with a bag of rocks anyway.
1. The Hidden Candy Prize* - Kids love prizes. Why else would they put cruddy toys in the bottom of your cereal box? So, give them a really good laugh this year and stick razors in candy apples, tacks in chocolate, and a few CC's of bleach in chewing gum. It's a hootnanny!
2. Food Fight - Keep a bunch of cheap pie plates filled with whipped cream near the door and for every group of trick or treaters that come by, smash one random kid in the face Bugs Bunny style.
3. Redneck Security - Get yourself a paintball gun to fire at kids that try to egg and TP your house, or put bologna on your car. You don't even really have to load it, the noise alone will make them think someone is shooting at them, which is just crazy enough not to be illegal (or any more or less legal than vandalism).
4. Scarecrow - Dress up as an overstuffed scarecrow and sit out on your front porch with a bowl full of candy and sign that says "Please Take ONE". The kids will never know there's a real guy under there, which is why it's so much fun to leap out of the chair and scare the crap out of them when they go for the candy.
5. Just Kidding! - Let's have an understanding: kids want CANDY on Halloween. I know some of you want to promote healthy eating and what not and hand out raisins, but kids hate that. And this is the one day of the year they don't want to hear about it. So, when they come to the door, expecting that wonderful sugar filled, tooth rotting, fattening, chocolate treat, whip out a bowl full of bananas or little boxes of raisins, or mixed fruit or whatever... and just when their little disappointed faces can't take it anymore, tell them you're just kidding and break out the candy. It's a different kind of scare... the kind where you get large groups of children to hate you before you fill them with sugary glee. And these days, I don't know who that's scarier for. I mean, face it, those kids could be packing. They might kill you.
*TKOP, and their affiliates do not endorse #1, and recommend against taking such action in real life. Zero's Friday Five is written each week by a freak who has apparently gone insane and is not to be taken seriously. Ever. Except when he boasts about the size of Skeeve's manhood**.
**Zero has never seen Skeeve's manhood, nor does he want to. References to Skeeve's manhood are based on hearsay and reports provided by individuals who claim to have witnessed it first hand, like Zung, for example***.
***Zung resents the implication that he has seen Skeeve's manhood and wishes to report that these accusations are completely false. Vote for Zung!
You are now free to Trick or Treat around the TKOP.
posted by: Zero @ 9:23 AM
Tuesday, October 24
zomg! a new comic!
Yes boys and girls, I put my drawing tablet to work (or rather, it put me to work. I'm still working out the fine details of tablet drawing) and churned out a brand new comic for today!
What makes this one special, it's my first hand drawn one of the series. Well, almost completely hand drawn, I did sneak a bit of stock footage in the background. Once I've gotten comfortable drawing with the tablet, I believe I'll go back and redraw a good deal of the comic from the beginning, to have some consistancy. (Yes, I know. I used the word consistant. Are you done laughing at me now?)
Eventually I'll stop yakking above the comic, but I wanted to let everyone in on part of my creative process. But without further adieu...
posted by: Zung @ 7:17 PM
Monday, October 23
The terrible lightness of breakfast:
I don't always eat breakfast. When I was a kid I hardly ate it at all. (So much for the best meal of the day)
But lately I've fallen into a rut. I seem to get roughly the same thing day after day after day...
If I get it on my way into work, it's usually a large chocolate coffee with milk and sugar and a garlic bagel toasted with plain cream cheese.
If I get it at work, it's usually a large coffee (Depending on availabillity of Chocolate Raspberry, then Pumpkin Spice, then vanillia or Hazelnut) and a chocolate chip muffin or a chocolate croissant.
A rut... A rut I say...
I need something to shake up the routine (The Pumpkin Spice coffee isn't really doing it anymore) but I still need to like it.
I've tried scones... And Like them in a general sort of way. I've had the apple tarts (They were actually disgusting) I've done the egg and cheese on a coisant or bagel thing. (Too heavy...)
Perhaps I'll just get some cold cereal.
posted by: Skeeve @ 10:45 PM
Friday, October 20
Zero's Friday Five
Let's keep it simple, shall we? I'm annoyed this week. Not fuming angry, spitting blood or ranting and raving. Not losing sleep or running my mouth at anyone and everyone who'll listen and a bunch of other people who won't. I'm pleasantly annoyed, if that makes sense. The kind of annoyed that makes my face dress itself with a sly smirk (as much as I'm capable of such a thing), and then mayyyyybe I squeeze out some witty banter about the whole thing. Maybe not. You be the judge. Here's what's yankin' my chain this week.
1. Diner Cowboys - I work not far from Western Diner and have been known to take my lunch break there on more than one occasion. I've been there 3 times this week, in fact. This week, my convenient lunch spot has been overpopulated by cowboys. Not actual cowboys, mind you (because that would be cool), but these grotesquely obese political ninkumpoops who love to talk to each other about how "this is America" and "We should just nuke those Korean bastards, and that crazy guy in Iran, AND the Chinese and the Russians while we're at it!!!" Oh, yeah. Note to self: Should you see any fat guys you recognize running for, or standing near someone who is running for president, do not vote for that person. They seem to think starting WW3 is a proper and sense-making peace initiative.
2. John Kerry - While I'm on the subject of politics, John Kerry came out this week with some harsh words for the W. I'm not about to use the Friday Five to start the huge political debate, so let me just skip to the meat of why Senator Herman Munster is twisting my nipple this week. The article I read said that he's considering a 2008 Presidential run?! How is it that the democrats would even consider such a thing? Listen... Donkeys... Find a candidate who is A) charismatic, B) doesn't talk like a goon, C) isn't as boring as watching paint dry or as bearable to listen to as nails on a chalkboard, and then MAYBE you'd actually have a chance to take the White House for 4 years. Maybe. Of course, if you ask me, the whole two party system is cracked and needs replacing. But, that's a whole other bag of nonsense. So, I digress.
3. Cardinals Beat The Mets - I'm not even a baseball fan. But, if you ask me the team with the best record in baseball (Mets) should've toppled the team with the worst record in the playoffs (Cardinals) and gone on to the world series. That didn't happen, sadly. And now the hottest 7 games of the baseball year will be played by red birds and striped cats... or as I like to call them, the team with the worst record in the playoffs, and the wildcard team that was expected to be eliminated in the first round because they didn't belong there in the first place... the worst of the best teams of the season. Sign me up for that! Maybe there's some "What Not To Wear" reruns on TLC Saturday night. That Clinton Kelly guy wears the nicest Cosby sweaters.
4. Evil_KATil is Coming To Clifton Park - ...and she hasn't written to invite me skydiving, or knitting, or knitting while skydiving. I mean, at the very least we could throw homemade Molotov cocktails at Zung's house.
5. I Can't Come Up With Five Things - It's the Friday FIVE, after all. And I really can't come up with a fifth thing. How can it be the Five when there's not five things?! That's like saying, "Here, have these dozen eggs!" and there's only 11 in the box, or bowling a 662 triple when you need a 663 to qualify for a TV tournament that pays $1,000 to the winner, or like being married...
I'm in trouble now...
...I have to go to my room and think about what I said...
...and I don't get any dinner.
Phooey.
posted by: Zero @ 9:07 AM
Tuesday, October 17
Zung's Sketchbook
So my extra fabulous wife got me a very nice birthday gift. Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter! It was a peice of technology. A Wacom drawing tablet to be exact.
It's very nice, and as an artist, I can't believe I've lived without it. I've done some sketching but I'm still getting used to it. I'm hoping to continue the tale of the wayward alien that I started, perhaps by next week. Until then, I've got a couple sketches of our friend and his annoying computer companion. It's been awhile since I've done some actual cartooning. I used to do a comic in high school called "Rich the Frog", and I have stacks of sketchbooks. But I found that I've gotten quite out of practice in the last 15 years... aaaanyhow...
I've pictured him so far as wearing a space helmet all the time. It'll help him fit in with the natives. But other than that, he's gonna be weird and people won't notice. Alot of the inspiration for this strip has been my experience working in an office for the first time in years, and how alien that people's behavior or office culture can be.
So yeah, it's going to be dilbert mets invader zim.
Anyhow, enough talk. Less talk in the future and more comic strips. Until then, heres one sketch, and another sketch!
posted by: Zung @ 8:02 PM
Monday, October 16
N00b
We've all been called this at one time or anouther. Back when our skillz aren't up to par yet. First day/week/month with that new game... First time with this or that peice of technology... Never kissed a girl...
Some of us retain this title longer than others.
It's never cool to dis the noob, tho. The veterans should really look out for the noobs. Remember what it was like for them... Take the time to train them, show the ropes. Do it right. Don't give it to yhem... Always hold the tough love. Reading the manual isn't what alot of people want to do... But it's the best way to get started, and that's the first point a vet should hold, but try to do it nicely. Noobs are easily discouraged.
See, the interesting this is, with the revival of this BBS... I'm going back to my noob handle. There's a reason I picked the handle "Skeeve". I wasn't the most experianced SYSop... Quiet the opposite, in fact. I knew somethings about computers, but I had some hand holding. I played with it. And in the playing... I learned. I set up the Kingdom with the intent to figure out more. To have fun. To make something I could share with my friends. I had been calling board, but I really didn't have any clue as to what it was like to be a sysop... To have to set up the hardware and the software... To make sure it kept running... Proper maintenence... Upgrades... Skeeve grew from that inexperiance. Just as the character in the books did. Skeeve was an apprentice magician in the books who gets himself a job as the court Wizard in the Kingdom of Possiltum. His master is a demon, who has had his powers stripped in a practical joke. And he plays Skeeve's apprentice to the court... That felt like where I was.
Alot of people played Mentor to me in those days. Ace got me hardware, helped me make backups, destressed me and ran the whole show while I was in Fla. Lenny, Ace of Diamonds (Rhonda) and Wildfire helped me learn the system... How to tweak it, how to mod it... Games to install... These things made the board a better place to come visit... The group of folks we attracted were young and old... wise and silly... Passionate and exhuberant... After nearly 17 years I still know alot of you.
I call that a sucess.
New people are joining all the time... remember... That was once you. Welcome them.
posted by: Skeeve @ 11:21 PM
Friday, October 13
Zero's Friday Five
Board up the windows, refrain from saying "I'll be right back", and don't fall asleep. It's Friday the 13th, the creepiest day of the year (when it happens), where bad luck, zombies and homocidal maniacs that wouldn't die if you cut them up into 80 different pieces and mailed those pieces to 80 different countries (I know, I've tried) reign supreme. It the immortal words of the brain Gremlin, "We're advising all our clients to invest in canned goods and shotguns!"
Now, you may be asking yourself, how could Zero even attempt to blog on this most frightful of days? Surely, he would do better to turn off his computer, the lights and go into hiding from the hordes of evil creatures that want to feast on his blood! And my answer to that is this: Come rain, or snow, or zombie apocolypse, the Friday Five will always be here for you. That, and my in-laws aren't in town this weekend, so it's all good. Now, on with the countdown... this week, I'm dedicating my five to those aforementioned maniacs that just won't die. These are my top five favorite horror movie bad guys of all time!
1. Jason Voorhees - All dates aside, the hockey mask wearing, machete wielding slayer of "Camp Counselors" at good ol' Crystal Lake is the perfect choice to head off this list. As a boy, he drowned in the lake when the lifeguards slipped away to have a little afternoon delight. His mother returned to the "Camp" and did some pretty sick revenge killings, which ultimately cost her her own life, and in doing so, pissed of Jason's spirit just enough that he rose from the bottom of the lake (as a fully grown man) to continue his mother's work. My question is this: Did the police never dredge up Jason's body when he drowned? Don't drowned people typically float anyway? When did he grow up into a hulking behemoth killer? And how come there are never any kids at this so-called "Camp"... why do people keep going there anyway? I suppose it doesn't need to make sense if there's enough titties in it.
2. The Blob - If you've never seen it, "The Blob" is basically about a martian's booger that falls to Earth and consumes everything that it touches, growing in size with everything it "eats". I would've loved to have been at the pitch meeting for that one. Still, The Blob is one damned fine creepy crawly, if you ask me. It's an giant acidic booger relying on only primal instincts, for god sakes! I mean, ask anybody: they know how to handle zombies. Vampires? no problem. Werewolves? Shit, I keep a gun and silver bullets just on the off chance that I see one some day. But, how do you combat a giant acid snot?
3. Jigsaw - Now, I want to make this part clear: The "Saw" movies suck. That said, Jigsaw is a fantastic villain: a terminally ill old man who wants to leave his mark on society by giving the selfish, cruel, and anyone else he views as being a poor excuse for a human being a fatal lesson in humility. Interesting that he can absolutely be killed, but avoids death by never being present at his own "games". Still, the fact that he's slowly dying from cancer means that eventually he'll buy the farm on his own, no? But, what is up with that dorky clown mask?
4. Fred Kruger - Burn a child molester to death, and what does he do? He comes back to kill your kids in their dreams! How screwed up is that? It'd be scarier if a horribly burned child molester came back from the dead to rape your children in their dreams, but somehow I don't think that would get passed the MPAA. Although the burn scars did make him look like a giant penis in a red and green sweater.
5. The Tall Man - Angus Scrimm plays a huge guy who barely talks, makes midget slaves out of dead bodies and has an army of floating silver and gold orbs that drill out people's brains. What's not to like? Just don't bring a tuning fork near him or he'll freeze in place and you can kill him until another guy that looks just like him takes his place. Yeah, it doesn't make sense and it doesn't have to.
Alright, now you probably died while reading this, no doubt because Frankenstein's monster turned up and tore your head off. I'm sorry that I didn't make it more worthwhile. If you've survived the five, then I tip my hat to you. Now, whatever you do, don't picture Zung naked, resting his man beef in a bowl of green Jello. Don't do it. Just don't.
You are now free to scream all around the TKOP.
posted by: Zero @ 9:01 AM
Wednesday, October 11
Now serving number 30
Tomorrow is my 30th birthday, and the thought of aging has got me thinking about time. If time is linear, then I suppose life is a little like standing in queue. It moves slow, but steadily. Theres something worth waiting for at the end of the line, but you're really not sure what it is, and come to think of it, you're really not sure why or how you got in queue in the first place. The waiting can be terribly boring and it's up to you to entertain yourself in the meantime, or else you can end up sitting down and doing nothing. Your place in line could be quite comfortable, but at some point the line progresses forward a bit, and even though you might like where you've been waiting, you have to get up and move ahead (even if your foot's alseep from sitting on it). Your new place in line could be a drastically different place to be standing and it may take some getting used to, but it's a new vantage point from which to look out at life and learn something. You may even catch a glimpse of what the wait is for, and wonder if perhaps the wait is all there is. If it is, than maybe our lives aren't measured in length, but in how we stood up while waiting in line.
posted by: Zung @ 6:57 AM
Monday, October 9
forty years and fifty thousand...
The next time I'll post a blog here it will be at the other side of 40 years of experiance. The sunscreen thing is crap kids. listen up.
The following is what I intend to impart to you from the experiance gained in 39 years of mis-spent youth. Be warned... it's not for the squeamish.
No matter how big the "Hype"... The band/movie/book isn't worth it. Wait half a year and catch it (or not) after the fuss has died down.
Always keep a pair of sunglasses and an umbrella in your car. Oh, and maps. And some flares. And jumper cables... A blanket... One of those little emergency cones... And some crackers.
Don't fry bacon naked. seriously. Do I even have to tell you this shit?
Those nose clips for swimming in the pool are actually good if you don't like the burning sensation of clorine in your nose.
No matter how small the lake, it might still have sharks. or Muskellunge. (Shudder)
Don't let Bliss pick the lane when you're getting your car washed. Unless you have a few hours to kill.
Don't tred on Supermans cape... Don't spit into the wind... Don't pull the mask off the ol Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with Jim.
always keep several boxes of tissues around the house. You don't wanna be caught without one in a sudden heavy cold.
Learn to do your own plumbing, HVAC, Electrical and carpentry work. It'll pay for itself in the end. But also... Know when to call in a professional.
Never bet on the longevity of a goldfish.
Keep a pair of emergency pants ready.
Never get involved in a landwar in Asia.
Make sure your pole is firmly set before you try to hook your worm.
Too much is never enough. I want my MTV.
If you have to ask, the joke wasn't that funny to begin with.
Learn to smile and nod. This comes in handy.
Buy yourself a pumpkin spice candle and burn it just a little when you feel like you want to be cheered up.
Try almost anything...
Dream.
Believe.
Love each other.
Make sure to shower at least every other day.
posted by: Skeeve @ 10:44 PM
Friday, October 6
Zero's Friday Five
So, I was planning to do a Friday Five of some of my all-time sports heroes today. I know that sounds funny coming from me, but I'm actually a reasonably enthusiastic fan of the NFL, NHL, Tennis, Boxing and just a pinch of Baseball. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized there was no five to do. The reason? To me, no one can stand beside this one person. Even if you have no interest in the game, or sports in general... this story isn't about stats and SuperBowl rings. Hell, it isn't even about football. It's just about one man, the cruelty of fate, and achieving victory when victory isn't an option. So, if you'll forgive me, I'm going to forego the five for a week, and instead share with you the legend of Ernie Davis, as written by Bob Carter, because I think he said it best.
Read about Ernie Davis here.
posted by: Zero @ 9:31 AM
Thursday, October 5
*pokes Zung with a stick*
He's dead jim...
posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 2:42 PM
Monday, October 2
Why would you wanna go home again.
I spent my day today at my old work place.
I remember... Oh how I remember... Why I don't work there anymore.
If there is ever a reason to be happy about your current work try and spend a day at you old work place that you left because it sucked.
So, on an unrelated topic...
The weeks have been flying by and I am getting closer and closer to my next birthday.. It's a big and rooound birthday. Biiiiig. And Roooound.
I don't know how much younger a model of wife I can trade in on without having to change more diapers.
I could buy the little sports car, but interest rates are rediculous.
So, I guess I'll just have to keep the ones I have.
For my birthday I think I want Ponce De Leon's map.
posted by: Skeeve @ 8:23 PM
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