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Monday, July 31
A new sick regime.
Why... Why lord do you hate me? Why would you torment me with this nose drool...
It's raining in my sinuses.
So, there's a few front page changes in the works. nothing extreme... But things are in need of freshening.
So, yeah... coming soon.
posted by: Skeeve @ 10:14 PM
Friday, July 28
Zero's Friday Five
Have you been following the Zero's Friday Five thread in the main forums? If you have, then you know that last week's Five was a big hit. You also know that Eyeball thinks he's exempt on account of being single, and feels the need to tease... TEASE, I say. Well, I, as your ever crescent fresh game master, cannot allow this to continue. Therefore, this week's Friday Five is: Eyeball's Top 5 Celebrity Freebies!
1. Alan Alda - But, only if he can cover him in baby oil, so that the love makin' is really slippery.
2. Emma Watson - Just because she's 16, doesn't mean she ain't famous!
3. Kane Hodder - He has to wear the Jason mask and stalk him through the woods, then, you know, kill him softly
4. Gates McFadden - Only, and this is really weird, she has to call him Jean-Luc and at the moment of orgasm, scream something about making a little sister for Wesley. That's a little sick, Eyeball. I think Muddseye might want to have a word with you about that one.
5. Bill Cosby - The 'Cos. First, they'd wrestle in a big kiddie pool filled with Jell-O, then they'd have a tickle battle wearing really corny looking sweaters (and nothing else) and last, they would re-enact the classic Cosby episode where Cliff gives birth to a hoagie... except in place of the hoagie, they'd use Eyeball's $&#%@ over and over again.
Extra mayo? Coming right up!!!
posted by: Zero @ 1:20 AM
Thursday, July 27
Hello all!
So I guess most of you have heard I'm doing a year with AmeriCorps in Mississippi. I thought for my first blog, if the gregarious Skeeve allows it, I'd give y'all a little taste of what life is like for this born & bred Jersey girl, so as you can experience the joyous rapture I've had in the 101 degree heat in a dorm with no AC for the past several months. Come, walk through the red clay and antebellum with me... feel that deep-fried 'Sippi love :-P
Top Ten Reasons A Northerner Should Move To Mississippi
10. You'll never see snow again. Well, once in a great millennium, but it'll be soggy and you won't have to shovel it!
9. That pesky Yankees-Red Sox rivalry will be gone, and than you'll only have to worry about the Cajun-Redneck rivalry instead. Or if you're in Jackson, MS, just the Crips-Bloods rivalry. Don't mind the bulletholes...
8. If you have children, you won't have to stock up on college funds for them because no one here gives a rats' patootie about education.
7. If you're suffering from being underweight, you can just eat at any Waffle House in the state and gain 15 lbs in one sitting.
6. If you have a tight budget, it's cheap down here. The food at the local Po'-Ass Sucker Mart costs nothing, mostly because it's crap food. But at least you'll never be over budget! And the housing is great too, you just need to make sure there's a gate around your building so none of the homeless break in and steal your sh*t.
5. If you've studied the Civil Rights Movement, you'll be able to see what it was really like before any progress was made by simply crossing the railroad tracks. Imagine; your very own time machine! Just step right to this end of town and you're automatically transported to 60 years earlier.
4. If you are a woman starved for some masculine attention, you will never have to worry about being hit on. Ever. No matter what you look like. Just wear a tank top and every man with a mullet will offer you a ride in their pick-up. Confederate flag optional.
3. If you are one of those rare Pro-Life Northerners, there are protests you can join all over the state, and it'll get news coverage instantly. Even though there's only one active abortion clinic in the ENTIRE state. L-rd knows with that in mind, they always need more picketers for the most anti-abortion state in the Nation.
2. The priceless look on the face of just about any 'Sippian you meet when you tell them you don't believe in Jesus. Even if you do, it’s fun to see their double-take.
1. It's not Texas :-P
---LippyChick
posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 2:45 PM
Wednesday, July 26
And it's still several hours until midnight...
Here's comic strip #4!
Sorry if it's not incredibly amusing. I'm still setting up plot...
I really need to get a program to help me with dialogue ballons. They're just coming out too clunky so far. Most of my time is spent fooling around with text to get it to fit...
Ok, that's all I have to say. I'm still recovering from the Monday night insanity Skeeve mentioned in his entry...
edit - fixed link to image. Sorry!
posted by: Zung @ 7:47 PM
Tuesday, July 25
A day late due to Car Bombs
We went to a great brewpub last night to get some ideas together for Zung's Bachellor Party. (Yes, girls, he's off the market... ; ) ) Things progressed from beer to Irish Car Bombs and much talk. It was good to hang with my chums.
So, yeah, late again. Sorry folks. And to be honest I really don't have much to say. (Sleep was not my friend last night and work is busy as hell. I'd get into it but when I do everyones eyes (except Wildfire's and WuShu's usually) just glaze over.
I sometimes envy Zero his friday five. And I think it might be easier to write with a gimmick. But I know that can be limiting too... I guess the blog grass always looks greener on the other side.
So, we're short one day this week, but fortunately I have a make up in hand. This week we shall feature a guest blog by Lippychick! Look forward to that on Thursday.
And now if you don't mind, I have some serious napping to do on my desk.
posted by: Skeeve @ 10:02 AM
Friday, July 21
Zero's Friday Five
Today on a very special edition of Zero's Friday Five, I present to you the end result of marital cliche. Husbands and wives are not supposed to engage in sexual congress with people other than each other, but according to an episode of Friends, you can choose 5 celebrities to put on a list that absolves you of guilt and fidelity. Wanna know who I picked? I'll do you one better. I'll give you my list and Ghost's list. They are as thus:
Zero - Colleen Fitzpatrick, Laura Prepon, Ziyi Zhang, Iben Hjejle, Paz Vega
Ghost - Christian Bale, Daniel Johns, Johnny Depp, John Cusack, Tobey Maquire
... So, that was more like a Zero's Friday Ten, and a short one at that. Incidentally, can any of you guys help me find Christian Bale, Daniel Johns, Johnny Depp, John Cusack and Tobey Maquire and kick their ass?
posted by: Zero @ 12:43 AM
Wednesday, July 19
Still no title...
It's late, I'm tired, I have nothing to say except the strip is DONE!
Yes, I'm using more stock footage, but I'm still saving up for my wacom tablet pen. Until then it's more squares and circles drawn in photoshop! It may even continue as a running gag. (God I hope not!)
So here it is, strip #3
I still don't have a title, but that'll come as the idea of the strip becomes revealed...
posted by: Zung @ 11:22 PM
Tuesday, July 18
Sorry for the delay
Well, my cable went out last night, apparently it too couldn't take the heat. I know that I had a hard time sleeping last night too... Up and down every couple of hours and the heat is still inside me.
So, my last post stands as a testement to this weeks fun in the sun, and with that I leave you, in hopes that you are well cooled and remind you to drink lots of water.
posted by: Skeeve @ 10:23 AM
Friday, July 14
Zero's Friday Five
I think that maybe I should go on a hiatus. I mean, take a year off and go to some small, small town in Alaska and barely do anything at all. Then, just when rumors are starting to circulate that I've died, return home and figure out something else to do. I don't think Ghost will go for the idea. Especially since when I first presented it to her there was some mention of coming back with a hot eskimo wife in tow. Mmmmmm, Eskimos.
Well, either way, it's not happening. I'll tell you what is happening though... The Friday Five. This week, I want to talk to you about fortune cookies. I got Chinese food the other day, and for some reason they hooked me up with five fortune cookies. These were the worst cookies in the world. They tasted fine, but the fortunes were... well, see for yourself. This is a real, no kidding, not made up at all Friday Five. You can't make this up...
1. You Are A Nice Person - Gee, really? Thanks, cookie. Now, I guess I won't go kill myself by sticking my head in the oven.
2. Being Happy Doesn't Mean You Have To Be Liked By Everyone - Did the cookie just call me a prick?
3. Warning: Do Not Eat Your Fortune - I *wish* I had made this one up. Alas, I did not. Wait... it gets worse.
4. Be Sure To Tell Your Mother That You Love Her - What if my mother is dead? Wait... what if my mother has just recently died? Now, I've just enjoyed some delicious chinese food, but I get to spend the next couple hours crying into a pillow because of my effing fortune cookie. Maybe I didn't get to say goodbye to my mother. Maybe the last time we talked, we had a fight and I said hateful things. Now she's dead. And this effing insensitive cookie is salting fresh wounds. Effing stupid asian cookie.
...and the BEST one yet...
5. Did You Enjoy Your Dinner? - Are you serious? First, how did you know this was Dinner? What if it were lunch? What if I ate my fortune cookie first. Dammit, you know what? Screw that. I want a fortune. Not a question. Not a goddamned statement about how nice I am or a reminder to appreciate my loved ones. I want my damn money back. Give me my 50 cents. This is crap...
...oh wait, there's Chinese language lessons on the back. Neat!
posted by: Zero @ 12:19 AM
Wednesday, July 12
Suprise...
And you didn't think I'd go through with it...
I present to you, Strip #2 of my yet to be named webcomic
Maybe I'll have another one next week... maybe I wont...
Don't you know I enjoy toying with you?
posted by: Zung @ 9:46 PM
Monday, July 10
Hot enough for ya?
Here it is, not even august yet, and we're already a slave to our fans and air conditioners. our pools and the lake/stream/river/toxic waste dump.
How can we keep cool aside from these means, well, here at TKOP we have some suggestions for you.
You could fill your underpants with ice cubes! It's a popular favorite, and it helps if you've spotted one of Zero's Asian hookers, or had Ronin kick you in your pathetic liberal balls.
Live in the freezer! With the frozen lasagna and the penguins.
Move to someplace cold! Like Maine.
Lift your house up 1500 feet! The wind alone will keep you cool... What? I'm sorry I can't hear you for all this wind...
Marry a snowman. Make sure to fulfill your spousal duties frequenly.
If none of these suit yer fancy, write your own *%&$(#* monday rant, it's too (#$* hot for this *#(# honestly, what do you #*%$($# people want from me!
Where's my snowman...
posted by: Skeeve @ 9:24 PM
Friday, July 7
Zero's Friday Five
Hmmm... I've been unpacking boxes and attempting to get comfortable in our new home. It's taking longer than I would have expected, on both accounts. I'm not used to the noises here, the echoes. The windows are big and without blinds so, at night, I feel like I'm being watched jussssst a little. I dunno. It's all paranoid, irrational crap. I really need to get over it, I mean I'm almost 30, for chrissakes. Anywho... I wanted to fit Muddseye into the five this week, because he commented in the forums about how left out he felt last week. So, this week I present the Top Five Reasons Muddseye Didn't Help Me Move.
1. I Didn't Ask Him - The last time I asked him for a favor he spent 3 hours trying to explain to me that dilithium crystals are a better energy source than twin ion engines, and that the Enterprise would have been able to take the entire imperial fleet all by itself... as long as Kirk was at the helm.
2. Location, Location! - He lives kind of far away and if I had to listen to him tell me he'd be here if only he had warp drive, I'd likely yell and punch something.
3. Quite Frankly... He has better things to do. And I know this. Dammit, Jim! There's pie, porn and streaking to be done!
4. New Neighbors - It's common knowledge that when Mudds accomplishes a task, he takes his shirt off and tells everyone he can find that he's "gone to the Undiscovered Country and crossed The Final Frontier". I just think I should meet my neighbors before exposing them to that.
5. Mudds Hates Me - Surely, after this, he may set his phasers on kill and go all Borg (under Lore) on me. But, I gots nothin' but love for ya, homeslice. Word!
You are now free to... I dunno... do whatever you want, I'm gonna go buy a helmet and a cheese wheel.
posted by: Zero @ 11:54 AM
Wednesday, July 5
Wednesdays are good
I like Wednesdays. They only rank #3 out of 7 days, but while Saturday, Sunday and Friday (1, 2, & 3 on the list respectively) are awesome, and Thursday is closer to the weekend, Wednesday is just special. It's the halfway mark of the working week. It's nickname is "Hump-day" (given to it during it's college years by the fraternity). It's the hardest day to spell. Depending on your accent, it really doesn't look like it sounds.
Personally, I like Wednesday because thats the day all the new comics come out for the week (yeah, I'm still reading comics. And I don't plan on stopping until I have a child who says "Dad, you're a little too old to be reading comics". At which point I'll take away his allowance so he can't buy comics either).
I liked today's Wednesday in particular because I was inspired at work. Like I mentioned in a previous post, it's been awhile since I held a traditional office job. The enviornment is so foreign to me, I often feel like an alien observing human behavior. So during some down time today, I wrote out a plot and several strips for a webcomic idea. Maybe it won't pan out, but I like what I've thought of so far.
So for your viewing pleasure, the first strip of... oh man. I haven't thought of a title. Well, I've got another whole day of daydreaming at work tomorrow to think of one. So until next week, enjoy!
(Click on image for full size)
posted by: Zung @ 11:59 PM
Tuesday, July 4
Happy 4th of July!!!
The delayed blog this week is to blog ON the holiday, crazy, huh? But here we are, the 4th of July 2006. That's 230 years of freedom for the US. It's pretty amazing we've kept it together this long, being apart from the mother country so long, and away from resources and family.
So, today many many cows will give thier lives to wind up on our barbeques... We will consume many foods that we will usually not eat during the regular week, we will swim, we will blow off a finger in glorious celebration of this great land of ours...
Even if I can't get a decent cuppa tea here.
HAPPY 4TH!
posted by: Skeeve @ 12:04 PM
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