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Friday, April 29
Zero's Friday Five
Greetings and Salutations! We're all another week older (except for Veryne, who has faerie blood and thusly, never ages), and that means it's time for another Friday Five! This week I present you with a question: What five sounds most affect your mood and how? Visit the Zero's Friday Five thread in our Free Forum: The Throne Room, and submit your answers! Here are mine:
1. Buzzing Alarm Clocks - You know the type. They're starting to use them in TV commercials about breakfast food and waking up, etc. This pisses me off to no avail because I don't even want to hear that noise once let alone at any given television viewing hour of the day. That noise spins me into a dimension of rage that I am completely uncomfortable with. Maybe that's why I'm such a grump in the morning.
2. Trees Falling (In The Woods?) - No, seriously. There have been a few times in my life where I've been near a huge tree when it just decided to snap off a huge limb or right at the trunk and fall over. The mass noise of splintering wood and shattering branches makes my skin crawl. It's absolutely terrifying to me.
3. Smoke Alarms - Speaking of terrifying, when I was very, very young the fire alarm went off in my house in the middle of the night. I was so young that I actually didn't understand what was happening. I just knew that everyone was panicked. Needless to say, this event screwed me up enough that smoke alarms going off still scare the crap out of me... but, only when I'm woken from sleep by them. I think it's the noise in combination with the whole being disoriented thing... go figure.
4. Arcade White Noise - The sound of 30 or more arcade games beeping and chirping away at foolishly high volume fills me with nostalgia... and the overwhelming urge to school the nearest punk at Street Fighter 2 or 3. Take your pick, Junior.
5. Lusty Moaning - Hey, I'm honest. Noises that most affect my mood, right? Well, moan it up near me and I'll be on the Blue Ball Train to Hornyland. I'm too much of a typical guy in this respect, I guess. I mean... It was either admitting to this or coming up with some BS about how the sound of popping popcorn makes me hungry like Pavlov's Dog. What's better, I ask myself... admitting to being a slut in so many ways (and easy to boot) or admitting that I'm a fatty whose self control goes out the window at the mercy of a microwave oven? I'd rather be sprung than chunky.
And I'll leave you to think about that as you ponder your own Top 5. See you in the forums...
You are now free to move about the TKOP.
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posted by: Zero @ 11:13 AM
Wednesday, April 27
Rockandroll hootchiecoo
Lordy mama...
We have a winner in the image manipulation challenge for the end of April.
Mercutio tops it with his image of President Bush as a RockStar!
Rock on.
Don't forget to try your hand at our new contest!
I salute you!
posted by: Skeeve @ 7:44 AM
Tuesday, April 26
AFK
Sorry about yesterday. I got overly concerned about Bliss and wound up taking her to the Dr for her lasting earache.
It's fine. Nothing a little Anti-biotics can't fix. But it still delayed me from doing my duties here yesterday.
Tomorrow I will post the winner of the image manipulation contest of George Bush (Don't forget to vote!) and for Friday, of course, the incomperable Zero and his talented Friday Five.
You are now free to beat me with a wet noodle.
posted by: Skeeve @ 9:47 AM
Friday, April 22
Zero's Friday Five
Spring sprang a while ago, and now we're all neck deep in the season of luke warm temperatures and red hot lovin'. This week: Five Albums... Music To Make Love To.
1. The Golden Palominos "Pure" - What happens when you mix the sultry production of Anton Feir, the XXX funk laden guitar riffs of Bootsy Collins, and the soft as satin vocals of Lori Carson? You get laid, that's what happens. Don't let the opening track fool you, kids. This CD is pure fetish porn, right down to the handcuffs, gun play, and various other BD/SM inspired lyrics, but she has never been so pure, never been so pure (and full of desire)
2. Cocteau Twins "Heaven Or Las Vegas" - Personally, I prefer the Twins' album "Treasure", but a friend of mine swears by Heaven Or Las Vegas, and when it comes down (no pun intended), I'll side with her for the sake of this list. You can't really go wrong with Cocteau Twins music for sex. It's as if it was recorded solely for that reason... well, except "Blue Bell Knoll" (It sucks... and not in the good way).
3. Sade "Love Deluxe" - Once you hit Ordinary Love there's no going back. Just grab onto whatever you can and enjoy the ride.
4. Lovage "Nathaniel Merriwether Presents: Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By" - The name of the album says it all. Though a few vignettes inbetween the songs can be distracting, Lovage presents some of the sexiest songs to ever be recorded (and not for a porno film). Stroker Ace provides the ultimate in naughty beats and lyrics... stroke that, it's a start, only for the wild at heart...
5. Marvin Gaye "Let's Get It On" - The title track is one of the sexiest songs ever written. The album begins with it, and at the other end is the equally hot Just To Keep You Satisfied. It's like a musical sex sandwich. With special sauce. ;)
Now, what are you waiting for? Go get yourself some. You filthy perverts!
You are now free to screw around the TKOP.
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posted by: Zero @ 6:37 AM
Wednesday, April 20
As the temperature increases, our speed slows
I'm finding that for many people, as well as myself, there is a tendancy as the weather grows increasingly warm to try to stay cool by such basic maneuvers as a decrease in movement. I figure, though, that our brains can always stay in a bit of motion - especially since you're already sitting fairly motionless in front of your computer, and entertaining your brain.
In this vein, here are some tricky situations for you guys to ponder (the answers will be posted in The Throne Room - but make your own guesses first!):
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?
4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
6. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching!
posted by: Bliss @ 1:33 PM
Monday, April 18
Nothing but Blue Skies...
We had a walk this weekend. Myself and two others. It was a great time, even if my legs are threatening to suceed from my union.
We got to the trailhead a bit later than I wanted. All 3 of us ex-boyscouts. (One ex-Eagle Scout) We were pretty well prepared. We slathered up with SPF, and OFF for me (I'm mildly allergic to mosquito bites)loaded 6 bottles of water for 3 people into my bag (Yeah, THAT was a mistake. Next time we split the water up) got some bagels and creamcheese and peanut butter at "Lox of bagels and moor" in Glens Falls on the way up. Carried some digicams and sticks. (Mine was a high tech aluminium folding stick, which also becomes a monopod)
We signed out at the registry. Stapped on our packs and started walking down the hill to the marked trailhead. The going was good. Smooth for the start, just walking, really. We crossed some ice, in a few spots where the sun doesn't hit all day and the ground is still cold from underground springs.
The blackflies were not out, the walk was sunny, but not too hot. A teeshirt and cargo pants was comfortable, even on the top.
I'm not forgetting how good this feels. I'm not going to let myself take this year off hiking too. I'm going to go as often as I can.
Wanna come along?
posted by: Skeeve @ 5:51 PM
Friday, April 15
Zero's Friday Five
It's Tax Day! It's my Birthday! It's Friday!
I think that means we have a very special edition of The Friday Five. Are you getting a refund? Did you forget to buy me a birthday present? Why hasn't Evelynne_Darkstar sent me any f@#&ing vintage Dr. Pepper yet?!
This week: The Top 5 Things You Should Do With Your Tax Refund.
1. Asian Hookers - 'Nuff said.
2. Treat Your S.O. to a Full Day Spa Retreat - Then stay home, scrounge up what cash you can, and delve into Item #1.
3. Throw a Party! - We know you love the rest of the TKoPpers, so invite us to a righteous shindig at your place. Stock the fridge with beer and sausage and don't forget to lay out the Twister, D&D, and Phase 10 cards. You can also spring for a few examples of Item #1, nudge nudge, know what I mean, say no more! (Just make sure you don't invite Zero. I hear that kid smells like a butt... HEY!)
4. Buy a New Car - Yes, you do look good in that early 90's rust bucket with all the bumper stickers and duct tape holding the muffler in place. But, now might be the time to hop into that new rice rocket you've had your eye on for a year or two. And when you pull up next to me at a red light, be ready to race "Better Off Dead" style. I'll show you my tail lights AND my mean Wide World of Sports voiceover talent.
5. Throw The Cat and Evil_KATil a Killer Bachelor / Bachlorette Party - (See Item #1 Again).
And there you have it. Another Friday. Another Friday Five.
You are now free to move about the TKOP.
.
posted by: Zero @ 7:12 AM
Wednesday, April 13
Evelynne_Darkstar brings the blog!
I have a confession to make:
I listen to country music. I like to crank up the volume in the car on my
way home from work and sing along about being a redneck woman...I like to
two-step...I even know some line dances (and no, you will never, ever see me
perform them). I'll even admit to having a pair of boots in my closet, and
a cowboy hat on a shelf somewhere - albeit that one's covered in dust now.
Anyways, I digress. I keep hearing a song on the country station called
"That's What I Love About Sunday" by a man named Craig Morgan, and every
time I hear it I am taken straight back to my childhood and overcome with
such a longing for the way things used to be that it almost takes my breath
away. He sings about the comfortable routine of Sunday mornings at church,
Sunday afternoons spent napping on a porch swing, and good old "Sunday
dinners". I don't think I can even begin to explain how much I miss Sundays
like those. I wish I could go back to the days when the only thing I
worried about on Sunday was where to take my nap. Nowadays, my Sundays seem
to last only a nanosecond. I wake up, hit the ground running, and before I
know it, it's 9pm - time to start dreading going to work the next day. The
leisurely Sunday of my childhood has been filled with the hectic commitments
of adulthood. So, here's the question(s) of the day: What happened to my
day of rest? Do the rest of you have this problem?
posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 12:22 PM
Tuesday, April 12
Easter is over?!?
But the Peeps live on!
We have a winner in the image manipulation challenge for the beginning of April.
Congradulations go out to Zung for a CLEAR win with the following image!
Get it up for peepinvasion.
Don't forget to try your hand at our new contest!
Rock on!
posted by: Skeeve @ 10:18 AM
Monday, April 11
Memory...
What I remember and what you remember are completely different things.
It's amazing what the human memory is like. It can change the way that you feel about someone, or something, just in how you remember it.
Memory isn't like a cassette recorder. It's not like a video tape. What people remember is a patchwork of sounds, smells, emotions, sights and colors, and many other variables. Is it any wonder that no two persons experiences of the same event are exactly the same?
To quote Woody Allen...
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
No... Wait... That's not the one... How about this:
"The brain is the most important organ," I thought. Then I wondered. "But exactly
which part of me is telling me that?"
I read an interesting article about memory from this site, (Good site to blow an afternoon on, by the way...) which I have linked here for your pleasure. Go ahead... Read it... We'll wait...
Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm... *Can you believe they showed up at the blog unprepared?! Sheesh*
Back? Great.
One time in high school I had a very interesting teacher. He taught "Social Studies", but with more of a "Social Sciences" bent to it. He always had weird things in class that he would do to show us little tricks like how your memory wasn't reliable. One day, he took it to an extreme.
He had a friend come into the class, while it was going on, and "shoot him" with a starter pistol.
It was a surreal scene. The door banged open. The shot rang before many people registered the intrusion. The teacher collapsed behind the desk and the class was stunned. Open mouthed. The door closed behind the intruder, and a couple kids got to thier feet, assumedly to follow the gunman. (Uh... Wha? Well, they were football players.) The teacher jumped up from behind the desk (scaring the crap out of us futher) and said that we should immediately write down a full description of what the intruder looked like, and what happened.
Most of us weren't even close.
We got the wrong colors for his clothes. Wrong hair length and type. Wrong facial hair. Hugely varying heights and weights.
After we had commited our memories to paper, the teacher had the guy come back in, and then we read outloud what we had remembered he had looked like.
The artical brings up an interesting point. Most of us believe we are who we are because of what we remember. I think we are more who we are because of how we choose to react to current stimulous. Memories are often whitewashed. Changed. Adjusted to who we THINK we are.
Remember thee!
Ay, thou poor ghost, while memory holds a seat
In this distracted globe. Remember thee!
Yea, from the table of my memory
I'll wipe away all trivial fond records, 105
All saws of books, all forms, all pressures past,
That youth and observation copied there;
And thy commandment all alone shall live
Within the book and volume of my brain,
Unmix'd with baser matter: yes, by heaven!
(HAMLET) Wm. Shakespeare
posted by: Skeeve @ 5:18 PM
Friday, April 8
Zero's Friday Five
Spring has sprung! Good thing I'm sick, otherwise I'd be able to go outside and enjoy it (grumble, grumble). It seems like I'm always coming down with something just in time for the changing of seasons, it's not exactly fun times. Frankly, if it wasn't for Comedy Central and TKOP, I'd probably lose my sense of humor and just lay in bed all day, hopped up on meds doing my best impression of the grumpy old guys from The Muppet Show. Therefore, in celebration of keeping one's sense of humor, I present this week's Friday Five: Five Great One Liners To Make You Giggle.
1. I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No. I hate myself now." - Rodney Dangerfield
2. I went to my doctor and told him "my penis is burning." He said, "That means somebody is talking about it." - Gary Shandling
3. I was raised half Jewish and half Catholic. When I'd go to confession, I'd say "Bless me, father, for I have sinned -- and you know my attorney, Mr.Cohen." - Bill Maher
4. I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother. - Henny Youngman
5. I knew these Siamese twins. They moved to England, so the other one could drive. - Steven Wright
There you go! I hope these gave you all a good laugh. If you would like to share more favorite zingers to the list, visit our free forums and stop by the "Your Favorite Quotes" sub (modded by the sultry southern fried hottie, Evelynne_Darkstar).
You are now free to move about the TKOP.
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posted by: Zero @ 9:37 AM
Friday, April 1
Zero's Friday Five
Another week, another Friday Five. This week: Getting reacquainted with your inner child...
1. What was your favorite "Saturday Morning Cartoon" when you were growing up?
2. Did you ever fantasize that you were a character on that show?
3. Did you have toys, figures, posters, or other merchandise from that show, and do you have any of it still?
4. What do you remember most from the show, perhaps a favorite episode, character or moment?
5. Do you still enjoy it today?
Please visit our free forums and discuss your answers to these questions (and anything else you'd care to discuss... we've got subs for everything), I'll see you in there. Until next week, friends...
...You are now free to move about the TKOP.
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posted by: Zero @ 5:58 AM
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