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Wednesday, March 30
Wednesday Bliss
As I'm sure most of you folks know, I'm a geek for words. I like
words, word origins, component parts and discovering new connections
between words heretofore unknown to me.
In this vein, I was pleased to find the Dislexicon on robobunny.com,
which allows you to supply a root word, and receive in exchange one,
five, ten, or twenty-five new words using that word and with a
definition. I took the liberty of using the word "bliss" as my root,
and got the following:
New Word (Components) Definition
1: ornithobliss (ornitho-bliss) bird bliss
2: blissaqueous (bliss-aqueous) watery bliss
3: blissosis (bliss-osis) abnormal condition or process of bliss
4: archablissless (archa-bliss-less) without old, ancient bliss
5: corpusblissgraph (corpus-bliss-graph) written or used for writing body bliss
6: pentabliss (penta-bliss) five bliss
7: carnoblissferous (carno-bliss-ferous) producing or containing flesh
or meat bliss
8: blissous (bliss-ous) possessing, full of or characterized by bliss
9: microbliss (micro-bliss) small bliss
10: blissative (bliss-ative) associated with bliss
It's a microbliss - but sometimes that's all I need.
-Bliss
posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 6:04 AM
Tuesday, March 29
We have a weiner!
We have a winner in the image manipulation challenge for March 4th to March 25th!
Congradulations to Zero for the following winning image!
*applauds*
Don't forget to try your hand at our new contest!
Safe driving out there, kids...
posted by: Skeeve @ 11:18 AM
Monday, March 28
Out like a lamb?
The flowers are going to be stunning in May, that's all I can say.
So, spring rains are here again and the flood watches are starting all over again.
Once upon a time I worked at an ISP in the front trenches of tech support. It was a rainy spring day in a rainy spring week. The waters were rising on the local rivers and hitting high marks in basements close to the waters edge. Unfortunately, a major telecom company (that we used to lease our lines from, but also is really the only game in town up here in much of the northeast.) had a switch station right next to a small but fairly powerful little river called the Mohawk. The switches were in a short rack in the basement of an ancient building in an area of Schenectady (say that 5 times fast) that was very close to the rivers edge. The basement frequently flooded, but the techs thought as long as the switches were about the water stains on the walls it should be fine. Well, that particular year's thaw outdid most of the previous, and I'm sure you can see where we're going with this. Several thounds of dollars worth of switches took a bath, and in the process deprived most of the city of phone service. It was also a major junction station for all of the providers lines running west, so communications went down for hours for the rest of the state and phone service to the city wasn't restored for 2 days to all of the city.
Ok, I told you that story, to tell you this one. As I said, I was on the front line as a tech-support agent for the ISP. The network guy comes by and lets us know that our trunk to the Buffalo data center is in that basement. And that most of the city is without phone service. They laugh that our day is about to be pretty quiet... (Can't dial into the net if there's no phone, right? Can't call in for support is there's no phone. Easy day...)
5 minutes after they tell us this my phone rings from the support queue. It's a lady who is calling because she can't get connected. I take her user name and call up her record. The first thing I see is that she lives in Schenectady.
"Um... Are you calling me on a cell phone?" I ask.
"Why yes... How did you know?"
"May I ask why you didn't call me on your regular phone line?"
"Because it's not work.... ooooh.... Nevermind."
Favorite call... EVER.
posted by: Skeeve @ 2:21 PM
Friday, March 25
Zero's Good Friday Five
Happy Easter, Everybody!
...Ok, maybe not Everybody. We all know not everybody celebrates Easter, and God forbid someone not mention that in these overly uptight, politically correct times. Therefore, in celebration of being PC, I bring you The Good Friday Five: Five Un-PC discussion subjects and how to avoid them at the dinner table. Try them out on Easter... or for you non-Christian/Catholics... Sunday.
1. Right To Die Laws - Don't even go there. Seriously.
2. Abortion and The Murdering of Abortion Doctors - Quick change the subject to baby names or safe sex methods. If all else fails, pretend to bang your knee on the table and shout in horrible pain. That'll derail the conversation long enough to reset the chatter to a more approachable subject... like just how fat your sister-in-law has gotten since Thanksgiving.
3. Gun Control - It's touchy. Especially since that recent High School shooting in Minnesota. Just say something about how violent video games are the cause behind all of America's gun violence problems and then say that someone at work just bought their 7 year old son that new "Grand Theft Something" game, then ask for someone to pass the corn. Once you invoke video games, no one at the table will be able to understand what's happening and they'll start talking about how good the food is. Mmmmm. Delicious.
4. Gay Marriage - This is the perfect time to leave the table and have a really good 20-30 minute crap in the bathroom. There's really no defense against it, so you might as well do something constructive with your time. If someone catches you on the way to the john and asks your opinion, just clutch your stomach and make some groaning noises... maybe say, "mmmm too much fruit!"... either way, don't say anything.
5. Jesus & Colored Eggs - The two don't really go together and yet... Easter. I know. It's confused generations. Best way to get out of it: George Carlin's bit about Christ returning to the living and demanding that he not see any eggs upon leaving the cave. Sure, you'll be admonished by the devout worshippers in your family, but on the flip side, they won't ask your opinion on anything else for a while.
So there you go. Good luck not getting snagged by any uncomfortable chit chat this Sunday. Now go paint some eggs and baked some hot cross buns. It's resurrection time, baby!
You are now free to move about the TKOP.
.
posted by: Zero @ 9:42 AM
Wednesday, March 23
No really - thank you
When you prepare to marry, there are congratulations. there are gifts and smiles and a grand old party, and people love to tell you about the joy of having so many people celebrating you and the delight of living out your days with someone.
They tend not to mention the thank you notes.
Thank you notes are one of those odd things that have been phased out in general in modern American culture, along with the tradition of bringing a host gift when someone invites you to dinner, dance cards, and the reservation of one day a week for rest and contemplation. But like some things, like wearing white and exchanging rings, thank you notes are considered to be a near universal necessity of the marriage process. Of course, people take time from their lives to celebrate, wish you well, and often provide fun and useful presents - these are things indubitably worthy of written thanks.
But while there are books and websites galore on how to choose flowers, word invitations, and arrange seating and timing so that the band's dinner break is appropriately interspersed with time for crowd conversation, it's not so easy to pin down the art of the thank you note. No longer is it something that most parents require of their children in youth, so as an adult, it is something to struggle through.
How much is enough of a thank you - and with what words to express it so that the real sincerity of it rings through, as much in thanking the person who literally flew across country between performing live-saving heart operations as the person who dropped the extra cash to get the really nice sheets that you registered for? The hand grows numb with repeated writing, as does the mind - is this the same thing that I wrote three cards ago? Where is this person's address? How many sentences can I end with an exclamation point and still sound as though I really mean it, because I do, but don't want to sound dry by avoiding such punctuation?
The act of writing thank you notes is stepping into the frightening unknown, and I go boldly where many may have gone before - but they forgot to post long-lasting road signs for the future travellers, such as myself, to follow.
posted by: Bliss @ 5:20 PM
Monday, March 21
In spring a young mans thoughts turn to...
Peeps?
I still don't like them.
One of the major candy consuming holiday's of the year is upon us. I feel that we, as children, had the 4 cornerstones of candy in the year, led off by Valentines day, which, when you're a kid is not a BIG candy holiday (Unless you're a big fan of solid stale sugar that "conversation hearts" are made from.), or rather didn't used to be when I was a kid. We didn't really get much, maybe a small heart shaped box, but it was pale in comparison to the major cornerstones of Easter, Halloween and Christmas.
Halloween was the best, If you planned it right you could score bags and bags of candy to store under the bed. A chocolate bag, a hard candy bag, a sucker bag and novelty bag. And as a kid... Those bags never lasted till Thanksgiving.
Christmas was pretty good too, but the best one, aside from Halloween was Easter.
So much to choose from. And in my opinion the hollow rabbits just never cut it. Solid is the only way to go. And yes, you start with the ears. Once those are off it's time for a tailectomy. Then came the chocolate eggs... My mother would also toss one or two of our favorite full sized bars in the basket too. When I was a kid, it was really all about the chocolate. We had jelly beans too... And I'd typically eat them.. But until I got older I generally only liked the orange and black ones. (Even now those are my favorites.) I have to admit, the BEST jelly beans, bar none, in my opinion are the starburst ones.
But I never understood peeps... The idea of sugar coated marshmallow never sat well with my stomach.
I had my first peep in something like 10 or 15 years tonight. I got a package of them for Bliss this past weekend (she loves the little guys) and tonight, after making myself some bachellor chow for which I had to use the microwave (that is where the peeps live, you see. I mean they came from a radiated environment to begin with, so it's natural that they'd shelter in the microwave, right?) I decided to give it anouther go... It was pretty much exactly how I remember it... *shudder*!
I think we should just stick to Peep Jousting.
posted by: Skeeve @ 11:35 PM
Friday, March 18
Zero's Friday Five
I'm a bookstore junkie. When I'm bored at home, and the outside world is calling me, and there's nothing to do because it's 10pm on a Wednesday, I head out to the bookstore and max out my credit card on novels, magazines, DVDs and music (and maybe a coconut mocha latte... or two). So, I'm at Barnes and Noble this week, and I see an unusual amount of "Now A Major Motion Picture" stickers on the covers of books. Apparently, Hollywood writers are so talentless they're raping literature and foreign cinema by the dozens for their own twisted needs. Oh well. Anything is better than another video game movie "based on" the title but lacking total connection to the series. Doom? .
So, anyway, in light of my bookstore observations I bring to you Zero's Friday Five. This week: The Top 5 Best Movies Based On (or Adapted From) Novels.
1. Die Hard 2 - Let's get this one out of the way first. It's not exactly a terrific movie, but if you're ever in the mood for some rock'em/sock'em bloody American "the good guy always wins" action, you could do a lot worse than John McClane and his trademark saying, "Yippie Kai Yay, Mister Falcon!" (This quote lifted from the edited for television version of the film). Die Hard 2 is based on the novel "58 Minutes" by Walter Wager.
2. The Virgin Suicides - A terrific film based on the book of the same name by Jeffrey Eugenides, The Virgin Suicides is one of those rare films that strives to include every single scene from the book on the screen (with the exception of the Lux character's decent into whoredom and coke-can contraception). It's a bit understated though, thanks to Sofia Coppola's "art house" direction. Still, it's a pretty damn good movie though as a fan of the book (and I had to say this once during this blog), the book is definitely better than the movie. Kirstin Dunst and Kathleen Turner star.
3. Jaws - Jaws is one of the best movies ever made. You can argue that all you want, but it's true. Based on the novel by Peter Benchley, Jaws, the film took a few liberties with the source text (mostly because of a malfunctioning robot shark that they couldn't film as much as they wanted to) and the end result, while rare, is a film that surpasses the book it is based on by leaps and bounds. Scarier, darker, and paced a lot better (Peter Benchley can be long-winded at times), Jaws is a great way to kill a few hours, and people with heart conditions. If you haven't seen it yet, see it now. If you haven't read the book, watch the movie again.
4. Harry Potter (Series) - I would be doing the nerd-world a disservice if I didn't mention Harry Potter. While I wasn't a huge fan of the films, I can't deny that the producers of this series have gone out of their way to present this beloved world and the characters that inhabit it in the most faithful fan-friendly way possible. The movies leave a lot out from the books, but keep what's important, and they manage to pull it off without offending the hardcore fan-base. It's nearly impossible to do this, so the feat alone merits placement on this list. The casting (Alan Rickman's scene chewing Professor Snape particularly), direction, and design of these films have all seemingly been meticulously planned as to not cause any riots, and you have to be thankful for that. Besides which, they're excellent family fun. Still, I think the books trump the movies in this case, but the movies are still decent and faithful to their source material and thusly, they get the honorable "not completely terrible" award.
5. The House of Sand and Fog - Based on the book by Andre Dubus III, House of Sand and Fog is a powerhouse of a movie that will grind you into a hysterical mess. There is absolutely no way to prepare for the visuals and powerful performances (especially by Ben Kingsley) that accompany the ending to this piece, so I'm not going to delve into detail and ruin the impact. Suffice to say that while the book is one of the best I've read in a long time, the movie is better if only for the emotional impact of watching these horrid events play out before your eyes.
Honorable Mentions: Spider (Film by David Cronenberg, Book by Patrick McGrath), Silence of The Lambs (Film by Jonathan Demme, Book by Thomas Harris), The Hellbound Heart (Film "Hellraiser" and Book by Clive Barker) and Dune (Film by John Harrison, Book by Frank Herbert).
So many choices, so little space! Go rent some movies and read some books. I need to lay down...
You are now free to move about the TKOP.
.
posted by: Zero @ 9:32 AM
Wednesday, March 16
Naked dudes
As you may well know, I've re-entered the academic world as a student pursuing a bachelors degree in Fine Arts (or as the maintance staff with black magic markers like to call it: FArts). It has been a long time since I've taken an art class, but it seems one picks it back up again as quickly as remembering to ride a bike. One of the finer points I recall from my artistic years is that an intergral part of learning to draw is staring at naked people for hours on end. As a college freshman (many years ago), I was quite excited at this prospect as I was not "suave" with the ladies and had not seen a naked body besides my own in the mirror (and it was never much to look at). However, to my dismay, I saw nothing but naked dudes my first two semesters. They were usually old and creepy looking, and I always tried to strategically set up my easel in class. This is the reason I got good at drawing backs. I don't think it's fair to say I was afraid of a penis. I have one. We get along fine and play well together. It's the prospect of staring at something for so long, that it burns into your retina and shows up univited in dreams at night. Eventually, we did have a female model. She was cute too. Maybe it was being desensitized to naked dudes, or maybe it was just common sense, but it turned out to be completely unsexual. I was terrified that I'd stand up and salute while sitting at my easel. But it never happened. She was just another piece of a still life (except when she twitched), like a watering can or a vase, and thats how I learned to draw the human figure. I learned quite a bit about form and how light flows across the skin. I also learned about the string that hangs down from tampons too. And yes, I put it in my drawing.
posted by: Zung @ 1:08 AM
Monday, March 14
Long afternoon:
This are still percolating here at tkop! Hopefully the changes will catch up with the buzz. Take a peek around and see what we have in store for you!
Zung and Skeeve are starting up a Image Competition in the gilded frame sub! Check there for details!
The new chat should be up by this weekend!
Flyers and links to promote new users here at the tkop!
All of this and much more coming soon! Heads up!
posted by: Skeeve @ 2:56 PM
Friday, March 11
Zero's Friday Five
Correction: In last week's Friday Five, I stated that Disney's "Tron" film was based on the 1982 video game of the same name. It later came to my attention that this is not true. The video game is based on the movie.
---
Welcome, Friends! It's Friday again, and that means it's time for another edition of Zero's Friday Five, your favorite weekly main page blog, and the only one I'm allowed to do since the "incident". This week... the return of Five Questions! Feel free to visit our free public forums and post your answers (or just discuss) in "The Throne Room", our general meeting place.
1. What is the most cruel thing you've ever said to someone you cared about?
2. What made you say it?
3. Did you really mean what you said?
4. Would you apologize now, regardless of how long ago it was, if you had the chance?
5. How many incidents of you being saying cruel things to people flashed thru your head before you ultimately settled on the one you chose to answer question 1 with?
That's it for this week's Friday Five. Maybe now you'll think twice before you verbally assault people, you so-and-so. You big, big meany-pants. You princes of Possiltum... wait... how'd that get in there?!
You are now free to move about the TKOP.
.
posted by: Zero @ 10:17 AM
Wednesday, March 9
from the not so front lines...
for starters, it it wonderful to be back in the states. yes even the
chilly weather of the tri-cities is a blessing. best of all, no more
'booms'.
a little insight to Kirkuk, Iraq. our troops aren't living in tents,
those are reserved for transient personnel. the AF has dorm style
housing called MOD's (Modular Housing). the power gives out at least
once every two weeks, leaving us with no heat/ac or entertainment, just
dark dark rooms until they can fix the generator. our building was
blessed with a network connection, however as with all of the buildings
on base, the top speed was a whopping 8-12kb/s. the bathrooms are
communal, one extension per MOD. showers are limited to 3min. 30sec.
wet down, 2.5 min to rinse. a joyous event to be sure. shift changes
a shared even in the MOD. the joyous sounds of 2 to 10 pairs of desert
combat boots tiredly walking from one end of the mod to the other.
day in and day out, its roughly the same thing, at least for Vehicle
Operations. our catch phrase for each day was, another groundhog day.
get up, go to the shop, drive the bus, wait for a forklift run, then go
home. the only thing to break up the monotony is the rare alarm red
triggered by the weak attempt of an attack from one of the insurgent
groups. luckily they can't aim to save their own lives.
dining out is a particular treat. there is the Pizza Hut or Burger
King trailers (its really not beef, regardless of what it looks like or
what they say), or the DFAC (dining facility). the DFAC is a wonderful
place with plastic patio chairs and tables. the food resembles food
and you know its a bad week for supplies when they start running out of
chicken and rice. the staples of DFAC dining. i've had plenty of both
to last me a while.
finally, free time... what is there to do for free time... you could
count the options on one hand... really. there is the social tent
where they play bingo, theme music nights and pool. the local
library/barrow a book center, the gym, and finally... ready? hang out
at the shop. the possibilities aren't endless.
and that my friends is life in Kirkuk, Iraq... in a nutshell.
Blessed be my brethren in the field, may they come home safe.
from
Unl33t
posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 9:06 AM
Friday, March 4
Zero's Friday Five
Greetings, Programs!
Inspired by a mid-week viewing of Resident Evil: Apocalypse, I bring you this week's Friday Five: The Five Best Movies Based on Video Games (to date). If you're a gamer geek, or a horror/sci-fi/action movie buff, chances are you've probably seen one or two of these "Video Game" movies before. They're a hot ticket these days, though I can't imagine why, since so many of them completely pervert their source material and insult their audience with cliche after cliche. Yes, many of these films are just plain awful. But, here is a list of five that won't be a total waste of time. Press 'Start' to Continue...
1. Resident Evil: Apocalypse - The movie that inspired the list. Let's be honest. It sucks. But, it deserves a nod because Jill Valentine looks like Jill Valentine, Nemesis looks like Nemesis, and there's about a dozen scenes in the movie lifted from various games in the series. Of course, if you never played Resident Evil before, none of what I just said matters or makes sense to you. That's ok because the movie hardly makes sense either. Neither does the plot of all the Resident Evil games if you try to follow them from installment to installment. In the end, there are worse ways to spend a little less than 2 hours. Besides, where else are you going to see topless zombie prostitutes?
2. Mortal Kombat - Christopher Lambert plays Raiden, the asian god of Thunder... that alone should tell you just how much this film perverts its source material. Still, it's a highly enjoyable film, full of pretty decent fight scenes, actors who actually appear to have some talent for moving and speaking (a lot of video game based movies lack this) and the random good joke. Unfortunately, the film itself ends up being the biggest punchline, but hey... thems the breaks. At least it isn't pure trash, like the live action Street Fighter movie starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. Now that was bad enough to make your tushy burst.
3. Pokemon - The first film in which Pikachu and Ash come face to face with Mew and Mewtwo is one of the best animated movies you're ever going to see. That's not a joke. For fans of the series, or for people who enjoy character-driven film, there are few things better than when Pikachu is running from Mewtwo's Poke-balls, zapping them away with his Thundershock, while Ash watches in fear that his best friend (sad, that Pikachu is his best friend, no?) might be captured by a villain who intends to harvest his DNA for cloned Super-Soldiers. A friend of mine, who is a marine, openly wept at the end of that scene, which even I admit was a bit much. I mean... it's a cartoon. It's not like I cried when Optimus Prime died in Transformers: The Movie... no, seriously... I didn't... I... Alright, I was SIX YEARS OLD, OK?!!!!
Moving On...
4. Tron - Words cannot describe how cool Disney's 1982 film based on the arcade game "Tron" is. Sure, it bombed at the box office. But, really. I wouldn't pay full admission price either to go see a movie that is mostly blue for its entire run time. And I don't mean blue, like when comedians say blue, meaning vulgar. I mean, the color blue. Everything is blue in Tron. It's actually really bizarre. It's also one of Jeff Bridges' only good films. And South Park ripped it off when they made Moses look like the Master Control Program. Alright, so I'm not really making this one sound good. I'm still a little pre-occupied thinking about Pikachu... poor, cute, Pikachu. Run, Pikachu! RUN!!!!
5. The Wizard - The plot summary for this film offered on imdb.com is as such: "Corey and Jimmy Woods are two brothers who are being separated due to their parents divorcing. Jimmy is a mentally unstable kid that has had problems ever since his sister died at a young age. One day, Corey discovers that Jimmy has a natural talent for playing video games. He is one of the best around, and the two journey to the West Coast to compete in a video game championship, but along the way, they must avoid the adults, who are trying to take Jimmy away". So, it's sort of like Rainman, but with kids and video games. Not exactly based on a video game, itself, it's still one of the best video game themed films you ever see (read as: watch this high or drunk). But, don't let the plot summary sway you, The Wizard is ultimately a 100 minute infomercial for the Nintendo Power Glove and Super Mario Brothers 3, which actually made its commercial debut in this film (it hadn't yet been released to stores). Oh, and Fred Savage is in it. He's dreamy.
That's it for this week's Friday Five. Don't forget to visit our free public forums, where you can stop by the 'Moving Pictures' sub, moderated by Zung and Ronin, to discuss movies and more until you're blue in the face. Like a Smurf. Like a big mothersmurfing Smurf. Smurfer.
You are now free to move about the TKOP.
.
posted by: Zero @ 9:33 AM
Wednesday, March 2
Happy?
Hello, boys and girls.
This is your old pal, Stinky Wizzleteats.
This is a song about a whale. No!
This is a song about being happy!
That's right!
It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!
I don't think you're happy enough!
That's right! I'll teach you to be happy!
I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!
Now, boys and girls, let's try it again!
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!
If you aint the grandaddy of all liars!
The little critters of nature... They don't know that they're ugly!
That's very funny, a fly marrying a bumblebee!
I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me!
Why didn't you believe me?!
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Happy Happy
Happy Happy Happy Happy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!
posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 11:44 AM
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