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Friday, January 28
Zero's Friday Five
Greetings & Salutations, TKOP! Zero here with my new weekly feature, Zero's Friday Five. That's right, apparently somebody liked my Top Five guest blogs so much that Skeeve had no choice but to give me my own weekly rights to the front page blog. Either that, or they just needed someone to fill the gap until Zung got back from Timbuk 2. Whatever.
So, what's the Friday Five, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. It's not just another Top Five list, made up at random, and filled with great big globs of nonsense. It's an open-ended list. 5 observations. 5 questions. 5 quotes from the forum about Julia Stiles that just kinda struck me funny (we talk about her a lot in the forum games... you want to play the forum games, by the way. You will not be complete until you do so). And now that you get the general idea, sit back and relax, and please enjoy this, the first installment of Zero's Friday Five.
This week: Five Easy Snacks For SuperBowl Sunday.
1. Cheesy Chili Dip.
Get yourself a can of Hormel Hot Chili without the beans, a jar of your favorite salsa and a brick of Velveeta Cheese. Place the brick in a microwave safe bowl, and pour the chili and salsa on top. Microwave on high for 5-7 minutes or until all the cheese has melted and stir together. Top off with a dollop or two of sour cream and you've got yourself some tasty artery clogging cheesy chili dip for tortilla chips. A friend of mine has been known to take the leftovers and spread it on two slices of bread for a chili dip flavored cheese sandwich. I don't recommend this, although he claims it's the best thing ever. Attempt at your own risk, and don't say I didn't warn you.
2. Team Theme M&Ms.
Order up several bags of M&Ms from M&M Colorworks (located at MMS.com) in custom colors representing your favorite team, even if they're not involved in the big game. Either that, or set up two bowls of M&Ms, one filled with Green, White and Silver candies, and the other with Red, White and Blue candies, representing the Eagles in one bowl and the Patriots in the other.
3. Monster Thickburgers
A huge tray of Monster Thickburgers will fill everyone up and save you the trouble of coming up with more food or snacks for the 4 hour + game. That, and several of your friends may die. Maybe they've left something for you in their will. See who loves you and who doesn't the easy way! Hardee's for everyone!
4. Plain Potato Chips
What are you, lame? You can't come up with anything better than some greasy plain potato chips? What's wrong with you?! What's wrong with me?! I'm plum out of ideas. No wait... Here's a dilly...
5. Strippers.
You might not be able to eat them, but who said that strippers were only for Bachelor parties? Take it from me, with a halftime show promising nothing but boredom (Paul McCartney sings Hey Jude, wOOt!), and no Bud Bowl, you might as well jazz up the 30 minute intermission with some live and jiggly lady parts in your livingroom. Have another room in your house for the female football fans and their male stripper... or bridge club... or whatever it is girls like to do these days. Point is, you and your friends will be chin deep in naked ladies, and that's all that matters. Screw the food. Bring on the dancing whores.
Thanks for reading Zero's Friday Five.
You are now free to move about the TKOP.
posted by: Zero @ 3:52 PM
Wednesday, January 26
More Monster Burger! (Ace (Not Diamonds) review)
I'll have to admit, except for a brief period of time, i've eaten Red Meat for all of my life. I can eat chicken, but I love red meat. Having said that when the discussion about the Monster Thickburger caught my eye, and i knew i'd be near a Hardee's at the first of the year, I had to try one.
 
As you can see from the pictures that Zung has graciously provided, this thing is big. The only hamburgers that i've ever had that were bigger were homeade "Mommaburgers". You know, the ones that Mom herself made, with bread, eggs, onion, and bell pepper (that's green pepper to you Yankees) that were hand pressed and lovinginly applied to a skillet that had a healthy dollop of bacon grease to "git-em-going". When we were placing our order, i did so with a kind of trepidation, not knowing whether i'd be seeing this sandwich again in a few hours. Since we were being shooed out of the building, we didn't get to enjoy the ambiance of this particular smoke-ridden Southern establishment, which makes me very happy that i live in Upstate New York. As I opened the "box" containing this wonder of hamburger construction, i was amazed at the amount of bacon that fell off right into my hand. Most places barely put any onto their burgers (much to Ronin's dismay), but this actually had bacon falling off of it. I had to do some publicity shots for Zung to record this properly for posterity, then i took my first bite. I had though that i'd have grease running down my chin, and that the meat would be horrible. I was wrong. I have never had so many different flavors cross my palate while eating a burger. The meat was not overdone, the cheese was plentiful (and for me to say that is saying something) and the bacon was crispy, not soggy like i expected. I slowly ate the entire thing while Zung conversed with his sigoth, and when he finished with his conversation he was amazed that i had just started on my fries. I won't bore you with the details on the fries, since they were the same thing that you get at Arby's. Overall, i was very happy with my purchase, and yes it did take quite some time to depart from my digestive system, but i would definately buy it again, next time without fries.
Ace (not Diamonds)
Amateur Hamburger Critic
posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 7:47 AM
Tuesday, January 25
A day late and a grubsalib short.
Don't even bother trying to figure that out. I have no idea, either.
Yesterday was not a good day for almost anyone I know. Communication issues abounded and technical issues were rampant. Is mercury in retrograde again?
The weekend was mostly uneventful... Did some shopping on Friday. (Who besides me can go and easily spend $70 at a toy store, fer gods sake). And then let myself get snowed in all weekend. (Glad I had the toys.)
Yesterday came and I was in the last legs of an install of movabletype. Which has become the bane of my exsistance around here.
Aside from that, I still love my job. Bliss is doing pretty well, all things considered.
Zung has well and truly disappeared from our world, but things are going to change a bit by this week. We do miss the Zung tho. Everyone close your eyes and hope for his triumphant return.
Be well, and have a great week. We have some things instore for you in a few places. Keep those eyes peeled.
posted by: Skeeve @ 1:56 PM
Wednesday, January 19
ZERO's TOP FIVE #5
Greetings and salutations! For the glory of The Kingdom of Possiltum, your Crescent Fresh Game Master, Zero has traveled near and far across this great blue marble to bring you the next installment of ZERO's TOP FIVE, a guest blog of wit and fancy for the court's approval. This week: THE TOP FIVE WAYS TO IRRITATE SKEEVE (topic suggested by Evelynne_Darkstar).
5. NO PURPLE?! How dare Adara (or anyone else for that matter) suggest Skeeve remove the purple links from the main forum? We all know that it's Skeeve's favourite colour, and the national colour of our beloved Kingdom! It's on the flag for crying out loud! And yet, more than a year ago, TKOP's own Beer Wench took offense to the hue, forcing Skeeve to proclaim with all his might, "The Purple Stays!" Adara hasn't posted again since last June, for Skeeve's irritation with her was so mighty that she was forced to flee to Canada... and I'm still waiting on my beer.
4. BAD OFF-TOPIC JOKES. Going off-topic in the forums is one thing, but going off-topic with a bad joke is even worse. In fact, it irritates Skeeve so much that I heard his face turned red for an entire hour. A year ago tomorrow, Zung made a little quip about petabytes in Tubes, Wires and Careful Notes to which Skeeve replied: "Damn geeks. Can't get them to be serious". Yep, Skeeve was irritated. So irritated that he chastised all geeks with one swoop. Some geeks have had a hard time reconciling with Skeeve since then, insisting that he go to an anger management course to work out his latent bigotry towards geeks in general. To date, Skeeve has yet to attend any such course. Bad off-topic jokes bring out the worst in Skeeve. Let's all do our best not to irritate him in this manner again.
3. WRITE A GUEST BLOG ABOUT WHAT IRRITATES SKEEVE. This sort of thing is known to get a rise out of our lord and master. Personally, I think he just gets upset about this sort of thing because he knows I didn't actually research it or interview him, which would've been the proper journalistic thing to do. But, it is also widely known that I have no integrity whatsoever. In fact, The Cat paid me 50 cents to write this guest blog, in addition to the 75 cents Evelynne_Darkstar gave me to mention how pretty she is somewhere in its contents. I'm also supposed to pimp something called "No Child Left Behind" but, I have no idea what that is. It's a good thing though, or so I'm told. Like it matters. I'm rolling in the cash now. WoOt!
2. REPUBLICANS. Skeeve makes no secret of his political affiliation, and his semi-flame wars with TKOP's resident Right have shown Skeeve at possibly his most irritated. Nothing smolders more than the embers of a good ideology debate around these parts and Zung, The Cat, Ronin and Skeeve all make excellent armchair generals when the verbal gunfire starts roaring. Truly if you want to get under Skeeve's skin in truly historical fashion all you need to do is deny a teenage rape victim the right an abortion while increasing taxes for the lower/middle class, allow multi-national corporations to do whatever they want, declare war on everyone, ruin the value of the U.S. dollar, speak ill of cultures you don't fully understand, force your morals on the nation, its institutions, and its media, and do so while talking on your cell phone while driving your overly expensive gas-guzzling air-polluting SUV that you never take off-road. Personally, I did all of that yesterday, but I found out Skeeve wasn't looking because he was distracted by one of those neat "Truth" commercials. Damn hippies.
1. NO REACH AROUND!
So, there you have it. Five Top Five's for your reading displeasure. I'm going to go have a nap.
You are now free to move about the TKoP.
- Zero
The opinions stated in this editorial have not been approved or validated by management. Some restrictions apply. Shrinkage may occur in shipping.
posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 7:47 AM
Monday, January 17
I have a dream.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free.
One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land.
So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.
This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.
So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights.
The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. we must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.
We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" we can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last
posted by: Skeeve @ 1:50 PM
Monday, January 10
Can't stop the feeling.
Do you have a best friend?
Did you have a best friend in highschool?
In Jr. High?
Grade school?
Perhaps someone you grew up with?
Someone who you could share anything with? (Icecream, sodas, punishments, colds)
Is there someone like that in your life now?
I have to say, that it's been a long time since I could really say I had a "best friend". Not that there haven't been people who have been amazing friends to me. (You know who you are) but I'm talking a buddy so close that you can share your deepest and darkest with. That you can tell just about anything. (Even... Especialy the things you're ashamed of...) and they will understand. They love you anyway.
I've been graced with a handfull of people who fit this description. And I cherish everyone of them, but I think my bestest friend has to be Bliss. She is always there for me. She tells me when I'm full of it. (And I try to keep the good sense to listen.) and she tells me when I am wonderful. (Yay! Ego boosts!) She is my reason. My rhyme. My density. ; )
Ok, I'm going to cut the sappy here, but I wanted to use this forum to quickly wish my best friend in the world a happy birthday. Hell. Birthweek. : )
May the coming year bring you joy beyond measure, and smiles so large you'll fear face crack.
*heart*
posted by: Skeeve @ 1:55 PM
Saturday, January 8
100% of your yearly fat intake
(Zung first)
Ok, so I am not one for red meat. I eat it so rarely, that when I do, my stomach treats it like a virus. That being said, I have to admit that red meat DOES taste good. I wish I could be a vegetarian, but god made animals so yummy. Chicken is really my thing. I don't really like pork, but I do love bacon. And that is why I could not resist Hardy's MONSTER THICK BURGER. If someone made a sandwich comprised of just bacon and cheese I would risk a youthful heartattack and eat it all the time.
So I volunteered to accompany Ace (not diamonds) on his trip to North Carolina (for other purposes than eating a sandwich), and it just so happens that they have Hardy's down there. After a super fun twelve hour drive we pulled into a Hardy's five minutes before they were closing. We barely made it. Unfortunately, we had to eat them in the car instead of the resturant, so the pictures below are kind of dark. The girl behind the counter asked me if I wanted fries with it. I wanted to ask her if she was kidding, but I knew she wasn't. Ace got fries.
 
 
As you can see, the Monster thickburger is layered with fatty goodness. Ace actually ate the whole thing. I could only manage to eat half of it before feeling full. Like, thanksgiving full. The burger sat in my stomach like a rock. I didn't get hungry again for another ten hours or so. Thats also about how long it took to pass it. (That burger crossed five state lines before it was ready to part ways with me). Ace's testimony should hopefull follow shortly. As a witness, I'll just say that after 13 hours, I parted company with him before the burger did.
Zung
posted by: Zung @ 1:16 PM
Wednesday, January 5
Guest Blog from Evelynne_Darkstar
I've decided that this day should be canceled due to lack of interest.
We're getting our first ice storm of the year, and it's not pretty.
You can't coat a bunch of Southerners with ice and expect us to behave
rationally. Hence the insane number of stupid car wrecks I
encountered on my way in to work. Oh, did I mention that it's a
twenty-five mile commute? In an ice storm? Did I mention that I'm a
wee bit peeved that my coworkers that live three miles from the office
called in cause it's too slick to drive? How is it that I can safely,
and really easily, make it twenty-five miles and they can't drive
three? Ugh. But what really pisses me off is that I can make it in
to work in an ice storm with no problems, yet I'm actually in the
office less than five minutes and I trip over my own feet and end up
face down in the floor. How does that happen? I can't even blame it
on ice, either, cause I had an audience (naturally) when I fell. Ah
well. I'm going ice down my hand now because I'm pretty sure it's not
supposed to be that color OR that size, and pray that the rest of the
day goes quickly.
posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 11:22 AM
Saturday, January 1
A quiet newyears.
Hopefully everyone had a great night and brought in the new year in a fun and wonderful way. Mine came in with laughter, friends, snuggles and server happy kisses from my wife.
Now, as to what this new year brings:
I intend to keep TKOP improving. That means more people who will appreciate the community we're trying to establish and it also means I'm looking for staff for several of the underused subs.
I intend to work a little harder at work, keep pushing myself to learn new things, and not rest on past accomplisments.
I intend to be as good a father and husband as I can. I want to make Bliss feel like the most special woman alive.
I want to work out more, eat less and get back into hiking and martial arts.
What does it bring for you?
posted by: Skeeve @ 1:04 PM
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