TKOP.COM

Monday, November 29
Old Man Winter...

In my memories snow was deeper..

In the past 24 years that I've lived in upstate NY I think that the winters are getting milder. Sure we have a couple big storms here and there, but they seem to be spreading out, and the rest of the time seems to have less in the way of snow. I rememeber having snow banks outside my parents houses that you could tunnel in. I remember snow covering the deck so completely that when you shoveled it off it simply piled higher than the deck on all sides.

I miss that.

I miss the warm feeling of looking out the window with a cup of cocoa in your hand watching the snow pile higher and higher. The 3 to 4 foot drifts of it that we would jump in. Tobaggining or sledding down a hill... Snowshoeing.

When I first moved to this area I was no stranger to snow. We had our time spent in the upper peninsula of Michagan. (Sault Ste. Marie) 5 foot snow banks were not uncommon. People actually race snowmobiles on the ice of the Great Lakes becuase it gets so cold that it freezes that deeply. My grandmother used to live right next to a medical plaza and they would pile the snow up next to her house. It stood a good 8 to 10 feet, and in some spots 14 feet high. We would climb that mountain of snow and dig into it. Making for ourselves little rooms and tunnels.

We would come in, our faces red from to cold and snow.. My grandmother would have tea or hot chocolate ready for us (with marshmallows, of course) and we would peel off our cold and soaking clothes (Which were under the snowsuits...) and settle into our PJ's and look out at the snow, ready to do it all over again.

posted by: Skeeve @ 11:22 AM

Friday, November 26
Coma inducing bird meat

I woke up this morning with a gravy hangover. I sufficiently stuffed myself last night, having consumed quite a bit of turkey. However, turkeys are a big bird, so I can't claim to have eaten a whole one. Somewhere, in some random field, a Turkey is waking up and thinking to himself (because they can't talk): "Where the hell are my pectorals?"

Seeing as I went out to a Turkey dinner at a restaurant, and my fiance's family (who live next door) went to their relatives, you'd think that there would be no leftover turkey this weekend. But that is never the case. They own two turkey fryers, and are well stocked up on peanut oil. Tonight is thanksgiving part 2 for me, and that's cool, because I'm not sick of turkey. Yet.

Tomorrow, we'll most likely wander next door, foraging for food at her parent's house like we usually do, and reheat leftover turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing and gravy. By Sunday, I'll probably have enough Triptophane in my system to put a horse into a coma.

Thank goodness we only eat these birds one, maybe two weekends a year. Any more and we'd be a nation hooked on No-doze.

Now it's time for breakfast. I'm off to fry some turkey bacon, scramble some turkey eggs, toast some potato bread and rub stuffing all over my body.

posted by: Zung @ 10:01 AM

Wednesday, November 24
Thanksgiving is a time for Wu-Shu

As the months pass, and the time flies, it's easy to forget what
matters. It's so easy to brush aside the big things while focusing on
the small stuff. That's why on this Thanksgiving eve, I feel it's only
apt to use this space to give thanks to those people who have touched
my life, for good or bad, over the last year.

To Skeeve: Thanks for creating an online community that keeps that
local feeling. Thanks for giving me a voice, and encouraging its
growth.

To Zung: Thanks for bearing with me and my disappearing acts, and
thanks for making sure to include me.

To Skeeve and Bliss: Thanks for putting up with me every Friday, and
for including me in the most important day in your lives.

To The Cat, Zero, Anibas, Evelynne_Darkstar and Ronin: Thanks for
making the discussions lively ones, and posting so much that I don't
have to. :)

To Seuratt, Roxanne and Jen C.: Thanks for reminding me that my
friends from way back still remember me as fondly as I remember them.

To Evil_KatiL: Thanks for Skinny Puppy, and thanks for the conversations.

To everyone on TKOP: Thanks for 9 months of great discussions and even
better people.

To all of those I haven't mentioned but haven't forgotten: Thanks for
being there when I needed you. Thanks for letting me be there for you.
Thanks for accepting me without judgment. Thanks for being you.

-t

posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 8:47 AM

Monday, November 22
Kill two birds... Eat them.

With the big news of the retail merging of a discount store chain and a department store chain last week, I thought now might be a good time to talk about other mergers that could happen... I forsee:

Taco Bell and the Local Headshop...
Taco bell purchases several headshops in all areas around the country to bring us a "buy in one place" strategy for cheap munchies and glass bowls.

FYE and the RIAA...
They'll arrest you for buying the CD's that they know you're going to rip and share with your friends.

Target and a gun store...
Line 'em up and aim.

An All you can Eat Buffet and Gold's Gym...
Scarf and burn... This seems a better idea than an all you can eat buffet and "Toilet World"

Home Depot and the Dump...
You know you're never going to finish that big project you planned... So just buy all the tools and materials and save yourself the time and toss it away right from the start.

But I would have to say the best part of this merger is the joining of Sears and K-mart opens up the long awaited possibility of a real, live "S-mart"

"Shop smart. Shop S-Mart."

Gimme some sugar, baby.

posted by: Skeeve @ 1:19 PM

Friday, November 19
How you gonna eatcha soup now bee-och?

One might say that the invention of the spork, oh so long ago, was an attempt by the anti-spoon movement to erode away the spoon's influence on society. Most people scoffed at such an idea, because clearly spoons had a place in our society. Still, fringe groups felt that the pro-fork movement was attempting to gain more than just a dominate market share in the cutlery industry. Pro spoon advocate Horance Tuttlesbee, a pioneer in the movement, pushed forth the idea that the fork would not stop until no other form of cutlery existed. He espoused that they would not rest until over a thousand years of dining traditions were obliterated. Taking on attributes of the spoon was evidence of how low the fork would sink, not just in your soup bowl, but to gain converts devoid of multi cutlery thinking. Spoon advocates attempted to reach out to Knife enthusiasts, claiming that it was only a matter of time until their clout on the dinner table was eroded too. As sharp as they were, pro-Knife groups declined to get involved. The Spoon rights movement ended. Tuttlesbee was ridiculed by home economicists and his reputation was shattered.

Decades later, we find the spork has infiltrated our lives in the subtlest of places. Such as fine eating establishments like Kentucky Fried Chicken and Taco Bell. No one pays them much thought, and have become accepted by the majority of society. Fringe groups on the other side of the long dead debate, continue to worship the spork abomination. Websites dedicated to the utensil illustrate the cult like status the cutlery has attained.

Now, in the glistening promise of the 21st century, the pro-fork movement has made new inroads in it's supposedly plan of Cutlery domination with the advent of the Knork. Not satisfied with oppressing the spoon, the fork has now cut into Knife profits. The unsuspecting general public is largely unaware of this new development, and dwindling pro-spoon and knife activists fear that it will not be long until there is only one piece of cutlery on our nation's tables. Some have given up the fight, and moved abroad to places like Japan, where there is a wider diversity of eating utensils. However, others predict that it will only be a matter of time until the Fork people export their views globally.

Some extreme activists suggest the only way to fight this oppression, is to remove the hold cutlery has on our society. They suggest that a complete utensil ban is the only way to win power over cutlery. But does this not makes us barbarians, taking away thousands of years of dining evolution? Perhaps indeed, we are truely slaves to cutlery. I for one, choose to obey my flatware overlords, and bite the fork that feeds us.

posted by: Zung @ 10:03 AM

Wednesday, November 17
ZERO's TOP FIVE #3

posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 10:22 PM

Monday, November 15
What can I say?

I find solace in my fish tank.

See, it's sitting right there behind the sunken ship...

Even tho I've really only had it with fish in it for about 3 days now... I do have to confess I would sit and watch it while it was sitting and setting up last week. Before we put the fish in. I'd sit and stare at the bubbles and the filter drawing the few flakes of food I put in to condidtion the tank and start the nitrogen exchange.

We got 10 fish this weekend. About $50 worth. We had one fish to put into the tank... Everybody seems to be getting along so far. There are a few dominance struggles here and there, but over all it's a happy tank. Happier when food gets dropped in.

I plan on getting about 12 or so more fish. Just to really make it full of color and movement. Perhaps that will finally insterest the cat. She doesn't get the whole point of this.

I guess it's kind of fortunate that I don't have a huge amount of space at the house. I think I'd probably go nuts and get several more tanks and fish. One of my dreams as far as a salt water tank is to set up a tank of all clown fish and anemonies... Perhaps some living coral too...

Ok, time to get a aquarium screensaver. Keep swimming!

posted by: Skeeve @ 10:33 AM

Friday, November 12
This voting system is unsuitable for use in a general election

I like computers. Yes, they tend to make our world a little sickly green at times, but on the whole, they've seemed to benefit societies. So far.

I also enjoy voting. It is a right afforded to people of this nation, and most nations abroad. Yes, at times we are often voting for the lesser of two evils or the evil of two lessers, but we are able to hold politicians accountable to some degree by threatening to vote the bum out of office next time around. And of course there's always the threat of riots. But lets not go there.

When there are two things you like, your first instinct might be to put them together. Like a sandwich.

The "Help America Vote Act", passed by Congress in 2002 in reaction to the 2000 election results, did just that. The bill was responsible for introducing paperless electronic touch-screen voting machines to the American people. What the citizens of this great nation got (various counties in 37 states) was not a delicious deli sandwich made with the finest ingredients. What they got was crap between two slices of moldy bread.

Over the past week, there have been reports of over 1,100 instances of malfunctions of Electronic voting machines. Below are some examples:

* In Broward County, Florida, election workers were shocked to discover that their shiny new machines were counting backwards. "Tallies should go up as more votes are counted," according to this report. "That's simple math. But in some races, the numbers had gone down. Officials found the software used in Broward can handle only 32,000 votes per precinct. After that, the system starts counting backward."

* In Franklin County, Ohio, electronic voting machines gave Bush 3,893 extra votes in one precinct alone. "Franklin County's unofficial results gave Bush 4,258 votes to Democratic challenger John Kerry's 260 votes in Precinct 1B," according to this report. "Records show only 638 voters cast ballots in that precinct. Matthew Damschroder, director of the Franklin County Board of Elections, said Bush received 365 votes there. The other 13 voters who cast ballots either voted for other candidates or did not vote for president."

* In Craven County, North Carolina, a software error on the electronic voting machines awarded Bush 11,283 extra votes. "The Elections Systems and Software equipment," according to this report, "had downloaded voting information from nine of the county's 26 precincts and as the absentee ballots were added, the precinct totals were added a second time. An override, like those occurring when one attempts to save a computer file that already exists, is supposed to prevent double counting, but did not function correctly."

* In Carteret County, North Carolina, "More than 4,500 votes may be lost in one North Carolina county because officials believed a computer that stored ballots electronically could hold more data than it did. Local officials said UniLect Corp., the maker of the county's electronic voting system, told them that each storage unit could handle 10,500 votes, but the limit was actually 3,005 votes. Officials said 3,005 early votes were stored, but 4,530 were lost."

* In LaPorte County, Indiana, a Democratic stronghold, the electronic voting machines decided that each precinct only had 300 voters. "At about 7 p.m. Tuesday," according to this report, "it was noticed that the first two or three printouts from individual precinct reports all listed an identical number of voters. Each precinct was listed as having 300 registered voters. That means the total number of voters for the county would be 22,200, although there are actually more than 79,000 registered voters."

* In Sarpy County, Nebraska, the electronic touch screen machines got generous. "As many as 10,000 extra votes," according to this report, "have been tallied and candidates are still waiting for corrected totals. Johnny Boykin lost his bid to be on the Papillion City Council. The difference between victory and defeat in the race was 127 votes. Boykin says, 'When I went in to work the next day and saw that 3,342 people had shown up to vote in our ward, I thought something's not right.' He's right. There are not even 3,000 people registered to vote in his ward. For some reason, some votes were counted twice."

Now I'm not about to suggest that the Election was stolen. That was so four years ago. Please. Yes, I am a liberal, and I voted for Kerry. Yes I wanted him to win. However, because our electoral college seems to elect people based on technicalities, a margin of roughly 136 Thousand votes gave Bush the win in Ohio and thus a presidential win. Kerry conceded (although there is nothing legally binding in last Wednesday's statement), and I agree with him that this nation needs to be unified and move forward. Yet just because there still appears to be a clear winner based on last week's results, the above should not be ignored. The election process should be fair. We have a bloodless non-violent change of power every four to eight years. The Computerized voting systems currently in place are flawed, and thus threatens the delicate balance our democracy hangs in. They ought to be fixed or replaced. A study from Johns Hopkins in March of this year noted the following:

"This voting system is far below even the most minimal security standards applicable in other contexts. We identify several problems including unauthorized privilege escalation, incorrect use of cryptography, vulnerabilities to network threats, and poor software development processes. We show that voters, without any insider privileges, can cast unlimited votes without being detected by any mechanisms within the voting terminal software."

"Furthermore," they continue, "we show that even the most serious of our outsider attacks could have been discovered and executed without access to the source code. In the face of such attacks, the usual worries about insider threats are not the only concerns; outsiders can do the damage. That said, we demonstrate that the insider threat is also quite considerable, showing that not only can an insider, such as a poll worker, modify the votes, but that insiders can also violate voter privacy and match votes with the voters who cast them. We conclude that this voting system is unsuitable for use in a general election."

Yet they were used, on the assumption (I assume) that people can be trusted, and partisan politics can be set aside. But this is clearly not the case, as illustrated by the behavior and statements from Diebold, one of the manufacturers of these machines.

More than 35 counties in Ohio alone used the Diebold machines on Tuesday, and millions of voters across the country did the same. According to the Center for Responsive Politics, Diebold gave $100,000 to the Republican National Committee in 2000, along with additional contributions between 2001 and 2002 which totaled $95,000. Of the four companies competing for the contracts to manufacture these voting machines, only Diebold contributed large sums to any political party. The CEO of Diebold is a man named Walden O'Dell. O'Dell was very much on board with the Bush campaign, having said publicly in 2003 that he is "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president next year."

While the election is still on the minds of the people, perhaps this would be a good time to act. On December 12th, the electors from the electoral college go to Washington, D.C and then the election is "officially" final. Until then, there is enough reason to question the results. Not to change the results for a Kerry win, but to correct the problems that will likely spread and worsen our Democratic process. Tell the Democratic and Republican National Committees how you feel. You coul contact your representatives and senators as well. It's your election, no matter who you're voting for.

Oh, and in regards to last week' rant, the answer is yes. I do plan on unregistering from the Democratic Party if no significant fight is made on behalf of a fair electoral process by December 12th.

For quote sources and much more information, visit Truthout.org.

-Zung (I promise a non political rant next week!)

posted by: Zung @ 8:55 AM

Wednesday, November 10
ZERO's TOP FIVE #2

Greetings and salutations! For the glory of The Kingdom of Possiltum, your Crescent Fresh Game Master, Zero has traveled near and far across this great blue marble to bring you the next installment of ZERO's TOP FIVE, a guest blog of wit and fancy for the court's approval. This week: THE TOP FIVE MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE AT THE GYM.

5. ME. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm one of the most annoying gym patrons you will ever meet. I spend too much time on most of the machines, have no idea what I'm doing or if I'm doing it correctly, and (this part is arguable) I run funny. Sometimes when I'm on the treadmill or elliptical machine, I step outside my body for a second and observe myself. I imagine that I resemble a retarded gerbil, scurrying around on that wheel thingy, limbs flailing around as if to resemble something curiously similar to running... I imagine it's distracting to other gym patrons, like this guy...

4. HELPFUL & HAIRY. He's the nicest, most approachable, and most sincere person in the gym... and I want to strangle him to death with a jump rope. Never mind the fact that a man as out of shape and hairy as this guy has no business wearing the sweat stained tank top he's sporting, if I wanted his advice, I'd friggin' ask for it. This guy is always, "If you want a better burn, you should do it this way", and "You know, if you step up about 20 pounds, you'll get better results." Ok, buddy. I get it. You want to be helpful. Fine. But, let me ask you something. If you know so much about how to use this equipment, why is your gut still the size of downtown Albany? Seriously, that tank top looks like it's about to give up, and now I'm starting to wonder how sweat stains could be three different colors. And dude... shave the back hair, ok? You look like a billboard for The Back Hair Club For Men. Quit walking around the joint, smelling like old soup, giving people unsolicited advice, and actually use the equipment yourself. You know... like that guy over there...

3. SPOT GUY. This monosyllabic retard lumbers around the entire gym in clothes 3 sizes to small, as to show off his Atlas-like muscles. I think he's staking his territory in some sort of Neanderthal ritual that was long forgotten after the invention of fire. Sure, he epitomizes everything you went to the gym for in the first place. Except that he grunts and groans louder than everyone else in the building. You'll have nightmares about the sounds of his straining as he puts up a 400 pound dumbbell (not everyday you see a 200 pound dumbbell lift a 400 pound one, is it?), it sounds like a horrific mix of sexual bliss and constipation. Eventually, if you have to endure this walking tree too often, you won't be able to get off without dropping a deuce.

2. HOT GIRL. She's young. She's hot. She's fun to look at while you're making an ass of yourself on the treadmill (see #5), Yes, Hot Girl is the type of shallow, vapid airbag who doesn't need to be there. She walks around, does a few curls with some 5 pound weights, talks with her girlfriends, flirts with SPOT GUY, and then sits down for an hour on the stationary bike with a bottle of water and the latest issue of Cosmo. She never breaks a sweat. She's just there because she knows she's hot and she wants the attention. It's not terribly annoying, because she's fun to look at. But, if you think about long enough (and I have), she's just the exact kind of wench that you'd love to see under the wheel of a very large truck... after you've wanked off to her Playboy pictorial, that is.

1. MISTER McSWEATSALOT. This guy is just like you, as far as his routine goes, and he somehow manages to be on every machine that you want to use immediately before you want to use it. It's almost as if you two arrived at the gym together. He's probably a really nice guy, and if you ever talked to him, maybe you'd end up being friends. One problem: He sweats more than any healthy human being should, and to ensure your everlasting hatred of him, he never wipes the machines down after he's done. Listen, sweatly people, could you wipe your pool of sock smelling foul urea heavy sweat off the machine when you're done with it? The last thing anyone wants is to sit down in a puddle of somebody else's skinpiss. Next time I have to wipe off a machine because the person using it immediately before me couldn't be bothered to do so, I'm going to whip it out right there and take a leak on him. I don't care if it gets my membership revoked either. As if I go to the gym on a regular basis. I think it'll get the point across. Remember, everyone, if we all just give a little more of ourselves the world could be a better place to live. Remember that when you're being hosed down by my trouser snake of gym justice. Punk.

So, there you have it. I'll be back again (or maybe not) with another top 5. Until then, please remember that, if you visit a gym, work out, have fun, and avoid the above like the plague. Except me... and hot girl. Get her number for me?

You are now free to move about the TKoP.

- Zero

posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 2:07 PM

Tuesday, November 9
Sorry about the bag...

Interesting times... Isn't that a chinese curse? Unrelated to it's origins this has indeed been an interesting week, which would be the reason for the delay of this missive.

You see, I'm being drawn into the dark side.

After having a 15" powerbook on my desk for nearly a month, I find that I'm really liking the little bugger. And then setting up the new X Server this past week has been a learning experiance. (Albeit a learning experiance from hell... Why doesn't Mac document thier products better? They just expect it to work. Thank the gods for geeks in germany, that's all I have to say.) I've been playing with a few nifty mac toys... like Konfabulator (Who have just released a Windows version of thier very interesting client, so expect LARGE lag on that site).

Speaking of lag on sites, the new version of FireFox (Ver 1.0) was just released. We pulled ours down in a torrent this morning, and the site is positively slammed.

With the holidays coming up, I thought I'd leave you with this, rather revolting, thought. Why stuff yourself silly on thanksgiving, when you can have a 5 course meal in a bottle?

Ugh... That's upset the turnip cart...

posted by: Skeeve @ 9:31 AM

Wednesday, November 3
TKOP Presidential Election SPECIAL!

Today on point-counterpoint we offer the following views:

First, Ronin:

******************************************************************

It's 5:00 in the morning, and I was looking for something to say in
the blog, as a couterpoint to Zung. I've realized that I've said
everything I want to say about politics. One does not live on
Politics alone. I know today, that George W. Bush has been
re-elected, but what does it prove? I look at the election maps and
see a much bigger picture. There is a disconnect between the people
in charge of the Democratic Party, and the people of the country.
They have abandoned the midwest and the south, rejected the things
important to the reidents of these states and tried to impose a
Northeast Liberal on America, not as a real candidate, a man of vision
and ideas, but an empty suit running as "I'm not the other guy."

That's not the way presidents are selected, and I think the party
needs to focus, not on legal challenges and other such nonsense but
to ask where they want to go now, who should be the voice of the
Democratic Party, and maybe try and figure out who their constituents
are, and what direction they want to head.

The one thing I do want to state clearly, though. A majority of
people have spoken, and these conspiracy theories I've seen by the
desparate people on Democratic Underground just don't help the
Democrat cause. Instead of investigating "mysterious anomalies in the
percentages of this result coming from this particular machine", maybe
they should focus on straghtening out their own house.

I'm now extremely tired, and I'm glad this is over. The next 4 years
will be fun, if you can forget hateful rhetoric and try and find
someone to run with a positive message, or maybe a personality.

And now ZUNG:

*******************************************************************

It is not over yet, but many are already condeeding a victory for Bush. These are words I feared to type. Yet there are close to 387,000 votes in Ohio yet to be counted, according to CNN. Some are saying it's statistically impossible for Kerry to win Ohio. But the votes need to be counted before a winner is declared. We don't want to lessen the value of Absentee and provisional ballots, for fear of discouraging their use in the future. If the Democrats don't fight hard to keep this thing honest and fair, I swear I'm changing parties.

But if this thing does indeed go for Bush, remember this. In 1984, people thought the world was going to end when Reagan won reelection. Yes, he was a much better leader than Bush, but in four years we get to pick someone again. And we still have voices to hold our goverment accountable.

Kerry ran a great campaign. However, it seems that a little more than half of this Nation voted for Bush because they like his Arab killing style, skewed tax cuts, homosexual discrimination, his taste for racist judges, Religious domination over scientific thought, and governmental power over a woman's body. But the other half will never stop fighting against these things. The half that voted for Kerry may be in the minority, but it is only a slim margin of difference. This is not a landslide for Bush.

However, The House and Senate are falling deeper into Republcian hands. But theres another election for them in two years. Sadly, it seemes Tom Daschle has lost his seat. First time a leader of congress has lost a seat in 52 years.

11 States have voted to ban gay marriage in their constitutions. That makes me sick. Florida passed a parental notification for Abortion law. That does wonders for pregnancy from incest.

Yet there is some solid good news. The young man with the good heart and the funny name, Barak Obama, has won the Senate Seat in Illinos. Only the third African American elected to the US Senate. Keep your eye on him. He's the best damn politician to enter Washington in a long time.

Also, California passed a measure legalizing Stem Cell Research and to fund it with 3 Million dollars. As much as I detested the Terminator becoming the Govenor, he's actually doing a great job for a Republican. I guess being married to a Kennedy does make a difference.

And finally, Montana approved a bill legalizing Medical Marijuana. I think I'll have to move there soon. And develop, um, cancer of the... outrage gland.

posted by: The Peanut Gallery @ 11:06 AM

Monday, November 1
Political Agenda

The voter registration has been closed. You should now proceed to your voting place.

The national averages show voter registration to be up but the race is still anyones guess. Both sides are involved in last minute dirt flinging campaigns and visions of incubency are floating in thier heads, even as we speak.

I was never a hugely proactive voter. I've been able to vote for several of the past presidential elections. One of which (My first) I voted against Reagan (it didn't do any good. The Zombie spent 4 more years.) It seems to me that my most agressive voting is done when I feel it is most needed. I'm voting tomorrow.

I'm going to spend this evening and part of the day tomorrow (Which I have taken off... My local polling place is actually on my own road, and I decided not to brave the traffic.) studying local politics. I hate making uninformed descisions. I hope the polling machines are better than those we used to have to use.

Watch for a blog special exclusive on Wednesday. TKOP's investigative arms will wrap around this sticky topic and let us know who's leading the inevitable recount.

Hopefully everyone had a great pumpkin day. Mine was quiet. I ran out at the last minute and got about 150 pieces of candy, and I had 4, count 'em 4 trick or treaters. We saw a few others on the street, but none so brave as to venture down the driveway.

Hope your week goes well!

posted by: Skeeve @ 11:47 AM